Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I thought the Pope was the leader of the Roman Catholic Church! What was he doing becoming involved in an Australian parish that welcomed ordinands from a local Episcopal Church? Their Church had burned and they had no place for their ordinations. The Roman Catholic priest welcomed them and the Pope forbade the ordinations in that Roman Catholic Church because several of the ordinands were women and the Roman Catholic Church does not allow women to be ordained.
What does one have to do with the other here? It is not the place of the Pope or any other Church leader to making sinful rulings. No one expected the Pope to recognize the newly ordained priests. Certainly, they were not looking for support from the Roman Catholic Church; only simple hospitality at a time of unfortunate circumstances.
Yes, these questions do fit into a blog on spirituality and the poor. Consider the ordinands as well as the Roman Catholic pastor who were involved in this craziness. The Roman Catholic Church speaks of ecumenism, but obviously does not want to become too deeply involved in outreach and pastoral care.
The poor in this story are those who have been called to priestly ministry in the Episcopal Church and who have no place for the ordinations to take place. Additionally, the considerate and pastoral parish priest is poor in that, despite his best intentions, the Pope rescinded the invitation to use the parish church based upon his marginalization of women and refusal to consider the roles that women assumed in the early church (Yes, before there was a Pope).
If we are going to be Christ-like women and men, we must move beyond outrage at what hymns are sung on Sunday, where the altar candles should be placed, women in the Church speaking to important issues and concerns, and many other areas of minutia. How? I certainly don't have all of the answers, but I am formulating letters to the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, to the Vatican (hopefully to Benedict), Local bishops, clergy, and others in both Roman Catholic and Episcopal parishes as well as our own Presiding Bishop.
I believe that if Jesus ever meant to marginalize anyone, the first would have been Peter and his inability to "get it." Obviously, that was not the case. Jesus taught us to respect all persons and to accept and love one another as equal. Perhaps Benedict simply has not read the gospels with an open mind and heart.
If you are so moved, I urge you to write to your bishops and priests; to write to diocesan newspapers and local news sources and have them make this sinful marginalization by the Pope known to all. Trust me, the idea of doing this is daunting. The need to do so is immediate.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Church Often Creates Poverty
My friends continue to ask me why I regularly read THE MIRROR (the bi-monthly newspaper of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Springfield-Cape Girardeau, Missiouri). My roommate and I have spent considerable time in and near Cape Girardeau during her parent's illness and death and now, the holidays. It seems reasonable to know what is going on around us in the church.
Unfortunately, THE MIRROR has a negative impact on me; my blood pressure becomes dangerously high and I want to call the columnists and ask in which world and century they live! Most months, I feel as if I have been sent back to the time of Pope Pius XII or earlier. The columnists leave no "wiggle" room nor do they encourage one brain cell to engage. On more occasion, I expect some picture of God to accompany the columns since some of the columnists write as if they were God.
How does the Church create poverty? One means is by the publication of diocesan papers such as THE MIRROR and the ultra-conservative columnists who write regularly for this paper. Imagine having recently agonized over removing a parent from life support (honoring that parent's advance directive) and then reading a MIRROR column that states that this is legalized murder! How might life on a respirator with gradual decreasing muscle tone, choaking on one's own saliva, the inability to keep one's head upright, all while fully aware of what is happening and that these symptoms will only worsen be accepted by the columnist who spoke as if he were infallabile (or perhaps, even God). Those children who loved their parents so very much, respected their wishes to not be kept alive artificially and they fought a system of physicians who could not seem to agree with one another about life support, a church that tells them that, in essence, they are murderers are faithful Roman Catholics. Only by the grace of God, were they able to believe that following their parent's wishes was the only way for them.
On the other hand, I can easily imagine someone whose parents had never written advance directives. Now, the adult child is present when the parent has difficulty breathing and says "yes" to a respirator. One week stretches into four and four weeks merge into six months, and there is no change in the parent's condition. The Church would say to the adult child, "Well done good and faithful servant...." while the decision maker wonders just he/she had done.
Churches can make any claims that they want to, but ultimately, God is the only one to Whom we must answer. I believe that the mind of God is much more open that the mind of the Church. We were created with minds of our own and our life focus is to live as God has taught us in Sacred Scripture and through generations of other followers of God and the Christ.
Creating doubt and worse, pointing an accusatory finger in situations such as I have described, is not acceptable. We, as followers of Jesus Christ, have absolutely no authority to dehumanize and marginalize others in matters such as these. I believe that when these family members meet God, they will hear, "Well done good and faithful servants, enter the dominion which has been prepared for you since the beginning of time."
Unfortunately, THE MIRROR has a negative impact on me; my blood pressure becomes dangerously high and I want to call the columnists and ask in which world and century they live! Most months, I feel as if I have been sent back to the time of Pope Pius XII or earlier. The columnists leave no "wiggle" room nor do they encourage one brain cell to engage. On more occasion, I expect some picture of God to accompany the columns since some of the columnists write as if they were God.
How does the Church create poverty? One means is by the publication of diocesan papers such as THE MIRROR and the ultra-conservative columnists who write regularly for this paper. Imagine having recently agonized over removing a parent from life support (honoring that parent's advance directive) and then reading a MIRROR column that states that this is legalized murder! How might life on a respirator with gradual decreasing muscle tone, choaking on one's own saliva, the inability to keep one's head upright, all while fully aware of what is happening and that these symptoms will only worsen be accepted by the columnist who spoke as if he were infallabile (or perhaps, even God). Those children who loved their parents so very much, respected their wishes to not be kept alive artificially and they fought a system of physicians who could not seem to agree with one another about life support, a church that tells them that, in essence, they are murderers are faithful Roman Catholics. Only by the grace of God, were they able to believe that following their parent's wishes was the only way for them.
On the other hand, I can easily imagine someone whose parents had never written advance directives. Now, the adult child is present when the parent has difficulty breathing and says "yes" to a respirator. One week stretches into four and four weeks merge into six months, and there is no change in the parent's condition. The Church would say to the adult child, "Well done good and faithful servant...." while the decision maker wonders just he/she had done.
Churches can make any claims that they want to, but ultimately, God is the only one to Whom we must answer. I believe that the mind of God is much more open that the mind of the Church. We were created with minds of our own and our life focus is to live as God has taught us in Sacred Scripture and through generations of other followers of God and the Christ.
Creating doubt and worse, pointing an accusatory finger in situations such as I have described, is not acceptable. We, as followers of Jesus Christ, have absolutely no authority to dehumanize and marginalize others in matters such as these. I believe that when these family members meet God, they will hear, "Well done good and faithful servants, enter the dominion which has been prepared for you since the beginning of time."
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Decision Making When a Child is Critically Ill
A recent news story reminded me of the difficult decisions faced by many parents when one of their children is seriously ill. This was the story of an infant who was born with a rare condition which would necessitate his constant use of a respirator and increased difficulty moving or doing anything for himself if he lived through the early days in the hospital.
The problem was compounded by parental disagreement regarding the continuation of the endotracheal tube. Further complicating this delicate decision was that the parents were divorced. As the situation stood last week, the father would not give permission to remove the endotracheal tube and the infant remained on a respirator.
In recent and previous postings, we have mourned the deaths of two elderly people whose loving children made difficult decisions in standing with the wishes that were documented in both Advance Care Directives. Certainly, one cannot quantify difficulty when examining these situations. It is however, understandable that might believe in a more conservative approach in the case of an infant; or would we?
Is it responsible to keep an infant sedated and on a respirator and call that life? How long does the medical/legal system allow conflicting parental beliefs to halt decision making? Although the parents are the legal guardians and decision makers for the infant, does this authority have no time limit when there are moral and ethical questions?
Several days ago, this infant's father agreed to the removal of the endotracheal tube and respirator. The physicians suggested highly sedating the infant in order to reduce any discomfort or pain as his respirations became more labored and he finally died. As planned, this little one was removed from life support, and died peacefully.
Each time I read an update on this case, it appeared to me that the father was being demonized by his reluctance and refusal to let his infant child die peacefully. What was unsaid and either forgotten by readers and others is that we all come to decisions differently. I can't imagine being faced with such a decision. Despite deep faith, education, and normally rational thinking, our emotions often lead in decision making. Often, we can't come to terms with our own emotions.
Who were the poor here? All three individuals were. The infant had survived pregnancy only to be without the ability to sustain life. His poverty was in not being able to experience the richness of life and the sustained love of his parents and others. Certainly the parents experience poverty through the stress of conflicting beliefs regarding discontinuing life support. I must admit that I initially thought the father to be ill informed and selfish until I asked myself what I would do in a similar situation. Emotionally, this would be awful for me (for most of us).
Despite that poverty, the parents were able to sort through the reality of an infant who would never be without a respirator and who would be prone to infections, and would loose the use of his arms and legs due to nerve damage. When the question was "not about me" but about the well being of their infant, they came together, and despite the pain and sorrow, they allowed their infant to return to the arms of a loving God.
We narrow our understanding of poverty to lack of material THINGS and refuse to realize the poverty that those around us experience with few, if any, visible signs, then we are missing much needed ministry of care and support. I pray that this is an eye opener and that we will "tune in" to those around us and become intuitive and insightful when meeting our neighbors.
The problem was compounded by parental disagreement regarding the continuation of the endotracheal tube. Further complicating this delicate decision was that the parents were divorced. As the situation stood last week, the father would not give permission to remove the endotracheal tube and the infant remained on a respirator.
In recent and previous postings, we have mourned the deaths of two elderly people whose loving children made difficult decisions in standing with the wishes that were documented in both Advance Care Directives. Certainly, one cannot quantify difficulty when examining these situations. It is however, understandable that might believe in a more conservative approach in the case of an infant; or would we?
Is it responsible to keep an infant sedated and on a respirator and call that life? How long does the medical/legal system allow conflicting parental beliefs to halt decision making? Although the parents are the legal guardians and decision makers for the infant, does this authority have no time limit when there are moral and ethical questions?
Several days ago, this infant's father agreed to the removal of the endotracheal tube and respirator. The physicians suggested highly sedating the infant in order to reduce any discomfort or pain as his respirations became more labored and he finally died. As planned, this little one was removed from life support, and died peacefully.
Each time I read an update on this case, it appeared to me that the father was being demonized by his reluctance and refusal to let his infant child die peacefully. What was unsaid and either forgotten by readers and others is that we all come to decisions differently. I can't imagine being faced with such a decision. Despite deep faith, education, and normally rational thinking, our emotions often lead in decision making. Often, we can't come to terms with our own emotions.
Who were the poor here? All three individuals were. The infant had survived pregnancy only to be without the ability to sustain life. His poverty was in not being able to experience the richness of life and the sustained love of his parents and others. Certainly the parents experience poverty through the stress of conflicting beliefs regarding discontinuing life support. I must admit that I initially thought the father to be ill informed and selfish until I asked myself what I would do in a similar situation. Emotionally, this would be awful for me (for most of us).
Despite that poverty, the parents were able to sort through the reality of an infant who would never be without a respirator and who would be prone to infections, and would loose the use of his arms and legs due to nerve damage. When the question was "not about me" but about the well being of their infant, they came together, and despite the pain and sorrow, they allowed their infant to return to the arms of a loving God.
We narrow our understanding of poverty to lack of material THINGS and refuse to realize the poverty that those around us experience with few, if any, visible signs, then we are missing much needed ministry of care and support. I pray that this is an eye opener and that we will "tune in" to those around us and become intuitive and insightful when meeting our neighbors.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Alzheimer's Disease and Family Care Givers
AOL's news of the day just posted the story of an 84 yr. old gentleman living with Alzheimer's Disease and his 53 yr. old caregiver son. Only by the grace of God are the events revealed in this story, not enacted time and time again in similar situations.
Son and father had apparently never had a close relationship. Once the father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and began to have serious enough symptoms that he could not be left alone, his son became his caregiver. The story reveals a difficult to care for man and a son who is frustrated and angered by his father's outbursts and failure to listen to him.
One late afternoon, a friend called the son and invited him to join her at the beach. Of course, he would have to take his father along. Not long after arriving at the beach, the father wandered down toward the water and took both his outer shorts and diaper off. The son immediately went to his father and roughly threw the diaper into the water and tried to retrieve the outer shorts which his father insisted "I don't want on."
From this point, the events are muddled. Some witnesses reported that the son dragged his father to the water and that, although he was not totally under water, he was ingesting water and becoming non responsive. Others said that it took the son a considerable amount of time to attempt to respond to his father's distress. When several persons phoned for an ambulance, the son was reported to be angry and yelling that there was no need for the ambulance. When it arrived, the son told the paramedics to leave; that they were not needed.
Despite the son's protests, the gentleman was taken to the emergency room. He was eventually moved to the intensive care unit where he died the next morning. Autopsy revealed conditions compatible with near drowning and the death was declared to be a homicide.
The situation and actions described in the article are deplorable. Those of us who have never been primary caregivers to parents with dementia/Alzheimer's Disease or other memory/abusive conditions, have no idea what that must be like. Neither we, nor our parents expect that we will be changing their incontinent pads or orientating them to time and place repeatedly, or finding ourselves the target of abusive language and lack of cooperation.
This is truly an opportunity to reach out to the caregiver as Jesus has told us that we must do in order to truly be his disciples. It is easier for most of us to respond to something tangible such as lack of food, the loss of a home or job or insurance. How do we respond when someone has a disease such as Alzheimer's that gradually muddles their memory, recognition, self sufficiency.
They have been stripped of much of what makes us human.
There simply is no excuse for the actions of the son in the AOL story yet, in many instances, "there but by the grace of God are we." I've seen it in nursing homes where staff hear the same things, observe the same behaviors, and feel the same frustration eight hours a day, 40 hours a week, and they finally find themselves grabbing a resident's arm and nearly dragging them to the dining room because telling them it is time for lunch and taking their hand yields no response other than opposition. Adult children stop visiting their parents because they have had the same conversation each visit for over a year.
Here, you and I must ask in all sincerity, "what would Jesus do?" We know the answer. He would reach out to those caregivers and offer them respite. He would listen to their concerns and the venting of their anger and frustration, and he would encourage them to return to their loved one remembering that despite forgetfulness, anger, rejection, confusion, they are still one's parent's and that we, as Christians, are called to love them as we did when we could laugh and tell stories, make shared decisions, and not worry about them disrobing, swearing at absolutely nothing, and pushing us away. Jesus does not promise that all of life will be easy, but he does give us guidelines to help us through both the good and the rough times.
Son and father had apparently never had a close relationship. Once the father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and began to have serious enough symptoms that he could not be left alone, his son became his caregiver. The story reveals a difficult to care for man and a son who is frustrated and angered by his father's outbursts and failure to listen to him.
One late afternoon, a friend called the son and invited him to join her at the beach. Of course, he would have to take his father along. Not long after arriving at the beach, the father wandered down toward the water and took both his outer shorts and diaper off. The son immediately went to his father and roughly threw the diaper into the water and tried to retrieve the outer shorts which his father insisted "I don't want on."
From this point, the events are muddled. Some witnesses reported that the son dragged his father to the water and that, although he was not totally under water, he was ingesting water and becoming non responsive. Others said that it took the son a considerable amount of time to attempt to respond to his father's distress. When several persons phoned for an ambulance, the son was reported to be angry and yelling that there was no need for the ambulance. When it arrived, the son told the paramedics to leave; that they were not needed.
Despite the son's protests, the gentleman was taken to the emergency room. He was eventually moved to the intensive care unit where he died the next morning. Autopsy revealed conditions compatible with near drowning and the death was declared to be a homicide.
The situation and actions described in the article are deplorable. Those of us who have never been primary caregivers to parents with dementia/Alzheimer's Disease or other memory/abusive conditions, have no idea what that must be like. Neither we, nor our parents expect that we will be changing their incontinent pads or orientating them to time and place repeatedly, or finding ourselves the target of abusive language and lack of cooperation.
This is truly an opportunity to reach out to the caregiver as Jesus has told us that we must do in order to truly be his disciples. It is easier for most of us to respond to something tangible such as lack of food, the loss of a home or job or insurance. How do we respond when someone has a disease such as Alzheimer's that gradually muddles their memory, recognition, self sufficiency.
They have been stripped of much of what makes us human.
There simply is no excuse for the actions of the son in the AOL story yet, in many instances, "there but by the grace of God are we." I've seen it in nursing homes where staff hear the same things, observe the same behaviors, and feel the same frustration eight hours a day, 40 hours a week, and they finally find themselves grabbing a resident's arm and nearly dragging them to the dining room because telling them it is time for lunch and taking their hand yields no response other than opposition. Adult children stop visiting their parents because they have had the same conversation each visit for over a year.
Here, you and I must ask in all sincerity, "what would Jesus do?" We know the answer. He would reach out to those caregivers and offer them respite. He would listen to their concerns and the venting of their anger and frustration, and he would encourage them to return to their loved one remembering that despite forgetfulness, anger, rejection, confusion, they are still one's parent's and that we, as Christians, are called to love them as we did when we could laugh and tell stories, make shared decisions, and not worry about them disrobing, swearing at absolutely nothing, and pushing us away. Jesus does not promise that all of life will be easy, but he does give us guidelines to help us through both the good and the rough times.
Friday, October 30, 2009
The Working Poor
I'll admit that I often do not especially think of the working poor. I walk among and with them daily, yet do not let the poverty into my consciousness. This reality came to me yesterday as I unwrapped the book I need to read in preparation for a conference call and discussion.
This past summer, I spent four days with several hundred Sisters and Associates of a Franciscan community. One of our tasks was to gather with the work/ministry groups that we had chosen several months earlier. I had chosen the "poverty" group. Discussion nearly immediately focused on the working poor. On several occasions, I interjected the need to look beyond monetary and physical poverty. My several suggestions were the poor who are in mourning, feeling disenfranchised, are seriously ill, have no family members and/or are all alone during difficult times. My comments were acknowledged, yet there was no further comment along the lines I had suggested. As our meeting drew to a close, we were reminded to read THE WORKING POOR by November!
Last Sunday, I was honored to celebrate the Eucharist in the parish where I am a priest in residence. The folks who attended the 8 AM Mass voiced their concerns regarding the calling of a new priest. The rector of nine years resigned this past July and the parish administration is in the hands of the vestry and a rota of "supply" priests. The 10 AM folks appeared to be a bit less disturbed by the process of calling an interim priest yet, the atmosphere during the service and coffee hour was subdued.
I see parishioners in similar situations as members of the "poor." This is a poverty of spirit as they worship with a different priest every week. Although the parishes had suffered financially, things had been picking up. Now, all there seems to be is uncertainty. This is hardly an isolated situation. Roman Catholic parishes are struggling with bishops who appoint "Old Rite" priests who want to return the Mass to Latin, turn the altar toward the wall, and sing hymns that have no basis in the changes of Vatican Council II. There is a parish in our community where these reversals of Vatican II have taken place and over 200 parishioners have split from that parish and now worship without a priest.
GLBT women and men continue to find failure to legalize their relationships as marriages. They are denied the richness of open, honest, loving relationships and the support that brings couples. Additionally, they are denied health care insurance, the ability to adopt children, and the involvement of the the other in work community sharing, parties, discussion groups and the like. Gay Roman Catholic priests are not able to be open about their sexual orientation. Despite the recent invitation of the pope to Anglican clergy who are in disagreement with gay/lesbian clergy and women bishops, those gay Anglican dissidents will need to remain hidden lest they find they do not fit into the Roman Catholic Church.
Lesbian Roman Catholic Sisters most certainly are present in many religious communities. The second of a three stage "inquisition" of American Religious Orders of women, questions the membership of lesbians in communities, as well as how often the sisters confess their sins, attend Mass, and other "concerns."
Lastly, I think of my own mother who is nearly 84 years old. She has been a widow for 21 years and she lives in an apartment complex of mostly older single and married women and men. Initially, my sister lived nearby, but she and her husband moved to London and Mom only saw them a couple of times a year. Their six children all saw Grandma's as a hub for connection as they made their ways back and forth from London to Chicago. Now, the only family left in Chicago is one 30+ yr. old grandson and his spouse. They get together for supper occasionally, and Mom is thrilled to still have someone nearby.
Jesus and Francis loved the poor and reached out to them no matter what the source of their poverty. My greatest concern is that we not narrow our view and therefore, exclude all who need our love, support, care and prayers.
This past summer, I spent four days with several hundred Sisters and Associates of a Franciscan community. One of our tasks was to gather with the work/ministry groups that we had chosen several months earlier. I had chosen the "poverty" group. Discussion nearly immediately focused on the working poor. On several occasions, I interjected the need to look beyond monetary and physical poverty. My several suggestions were the poor who are in mourning, feeling disenfranchised, are seriously ill, have no family members and/or are all alone during difficult times. My comments were acknowledged, yet there was no further comment along the lines I had suggested. As our meeting drew to a close, we were reminded to read THE WORKING POOR by November!
Last Sunday, I was honored to celebrate the Eucharist in the parish where I am a priest in residence. The folks who attended the 8 AM Mass voiced their concerns regarding the calling of a new priest. The rector of nine years resigned this past July and the parish administration is in the hands of the vestry and a rota of "supply" priests. The 10 AM folks appeared to be a bit less disturbed by the process of calling an interim priest yet, the atmosphere during the service and coffee hour was subdued.
I see parishioners in similar situations as members of the "poor." This is a poverty of spirit as they worship with a different priest every week. Although the parishes had suffered financially, things had been picking up. Now, all there seems to be is uncertainty. This is hardly an isolated situation. Roman Catholic parishes are struggling with bishops who appoint "Old Rite" priests who want to return the Mass to Latin, turn the altar toward the wall, and sing hymns that have no basis in the changes of Vatican Council II. There is a parish in our community where these reversals of Vatican II have taken place and over 200 parishioners have split from that parish and now worship without a priest.
GLBT women and men continue to find failure to legalize their relationships as marriages. They are denied the richness of open, honest, loving relationships and the support that brings couples. Additionally, they are denied health care insurance, the ability to adopt children, and the involvement of the the other in work community sharing, parties, discussion groups and the like. Gay Roman Catholic priests are not able to be open about their sexual orientation. Despite the recent invitation of the pope to Anglican clergy who are in disagreement with gay/lesbian clergy and women bishops, those gay Anglican dissidents will need to remain hidden lest they find they do not fit into the Roman Catholic Church.
Lesbian Roman Catholic Sisters most certainly are present in many religious communities. The second of a three stage "inquisition" of American Religious Orders of women, questions the membership of lesbians in communities, as well as how often the sisters confess their sins, attend Mass, and other "concerns."
Lastly, I think of my own mother who is nearly 84 years old. She has been a widow for 21 years and she lives in an apartment complex of mostly older single and married women and men. Initially, my sister lived nearby, but she and her husband moved to London and Mom only saw them a couple of times a year. Their six children all saw Grandma's as a hub for connection as they made their ways back and forth from London to Chicago. Now, the only family left in Chicago is one 30+ yr. old grandson and his spouse. They get together for supper occasionally, and Mom is thrilled to still have someone nearby.
Jesus and Francis loved the poor and reached out to them no matter what the source of their poverty. My greatest concern is that we not narrow our view and therefore, exclude all who need our love, support, care and prayers.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Strength in the midst of Pain and Loss
This is a continuation of my last entry. My roommate received a phone call from her sister in Missouri. Their mother (wife of "John" from the post) had become weak and disoriented in the nursing home and had been taken to the Emergency Room and admitted to the Critical Care Unit where she was being monitored. It didn't seem necessary for "Liz" to come home yet. The following morning we were awakened by the same sibling saying that their mother was not improving and less than 30 minutes later, we were called again telling us to come to Missouri; all the (adult) children would be gathered at the hospital.
Twelve hours later, we arrived at the hospital. "Liz was breathing on her own, but her expiration's were being assisted by forceful pressure through the mask. She was non-responsive. There was no grasping when her hand were held, no indication that she heard those around her.
Everyone was prepared to remove life support once the physicians agreed that although they did not know exactly what had happened, the length without any response to a multitude of medicantions and treatments seemed to indicate that "Liz" would not recover.
All that was needed now was the opinion of the infectious disease physician. His initial belief was that "Liz" had meningitis although this was not confirmed by spinal tap because of her unstable respiration's. The physician entered the room and said, "we need to triple the dose of the antibiotic and keep an eye on your mother for that time." Not unlike the time they had just spent with their father and although this plan of action seemed like grasping at straws, the decision was made to try the increased dosage of medication.
One daughter remained at the hospital while we all went home. The phone rang at 3 AM and we were told to "come now, Mom's worse." The seven children stood around their mother's bed and could barely watch her struggle for each breath. They asked the nurse what would be necessary to have "Liz" removed from any life suppport. She said that the three principal physicians who were caring for her would have to see her and that her primary physician would have to agree to remove life support.
What a long and painful day. Finally, the infectious disease specialist visited "Liz." His response to withdrawing life support was that "the medication hasn't had time to work." He did say that there "might" be some other process going on her her brain but that the neurologist would have to address that! When the neurologist arrived, he agreed that this was not simply meningitis or some other infection, but other brain malfunction as well. Although he didn't firmly say, Yes, stop treatment, he did indicated that there was a good chance that this was not reversible.
About 1PM the last physician visited. He didn't say "Yes, stop treatment," but when asked directly about the possibility of recovery, he responded, "I don't believe that she will improve or recover." Once the necessary physician orders were written to remove the forced oxygen and the medications and to provide comfort rather than curative care, "Liz" began her last decline.
About 7 PM, we were called to CCU and told that "Liz" was being moved to a private room on one of the medical units. There the family would have room and privacy. We were asked to wait in the CCU waiting room while "Liz" was prepared for transfer. The wait was at least 45 minutes. Finally we saw the bed with a nurse and the eldest daughter coming down the hallway. We took the next elevator up to the to the medical floor. As we looked at "Liz" we all noticed how still she was and how dusky her face appeared. "Liz" had died, probably in the elevator! She could have had everyone with her as they were with her husband two weeks earlier, but there was such a move to get her out of CCU now that she was dying!!!!! Liz died two weeks to the day of her husband's death. Her funeral and burial are now following that pattern.
Compassion has no place in the natural order of the world which operates on the basis of necessity. Compassion opposes this order and is therefore best thought of as being in some way supernatural.~John Berger
I would take this quotation even further to say "perceived" necessity. Unless someone was going to suffer or die without the room in which "Liz" was dying, what justified moving her? What was the rush? Did anyone consider the comfort she might have had by having all of her family continue to surround her, rather that be taken across the entire hospital and placed in room that she did not even live to occupy?
Twelve hours later, we arrived at the hospital. "Liz was breathing on her own, but her expiration's were being assisted by forceful pressure through the mask. She was non-responsive. There was no grasping when her hand were held, no indication that she heard those around her.
Everyone was prepared to remove life support once the physicians agreed that although they did not know exactly what had happened, the length without any response to a multitude of medicantions and treatments seemed to indicate that "Liz" would not recover.
All that was needed now was the opinion of the infectious disease physician. His initial belief was that "Liz" had meningitis although this was not confirmed by spinal tap because of her unstable respiration's. The physician entered the room and said, "we need to triple the dose of the antibiotic and keep an eye on your mother for that time." Not unlike the time they had just spent with their father and although this plan of action seemed like grasping at straws, the decision was made to try the increased dosage of medication.
One daughter remained at the hospital while we all went home. The phone rang at 3 AM and we were told to "come now, Mom's worse." The seven children stood around their mother's bed and could barely watch her struggle for each breath. They asked the nurse what would be necessary to have "Liz" removed from any life suppport. She said that the three principal physicians who were caring for her would have to see her and that her primary physician would have to agree to remove life support.
What a long and painful day. Finally, the infectious disease specialist visited "Liz." His response to withdrawing life support was that "the medication hasn't had time to work." He did say that there "might" be some other process going on her her brain but that the neurologist would have to address that! When the neurologist arrived, he agreed that this was not simply meningitis or some other infection, but other brain malfunction as well. Although he didn't firmly say, Yes, stop treatment, he did indicated that there was a good chance that this was not reversible.
About 1PM the last physician visited. He didn't say "Yes, stop treatment," but when asked directly about the possibility of recovery, he responded, "I don't believe that she will improve or recover." Once the necessary physician orders were written to remove the forced oxygen and the medications and to provide comfort rather than curative care, "Liz" began her last decline.
About 7 PM, we were called to CCU and told that "Liz" was being moved to a private room on one of the medical units. There the family would have room and privacy. We were asked to wait in the CCU waiting room while "Liz" was prepared for transfer. The wait was at least 45 minutes. Finally we saw the bed with a nurse and the eldest daughter coming down the hallway. We took the next elevator up to the to the medical floor. As we looked at "Liz" we all noticed how still she was and how dusky her face appeared. "Liz" had died, probably in the elevator! She could have had everyone with her as they were with her husband two weeks earlier, but there was such a move to get her out of CCU now that she was dying!!!!! Liz died two weeks to the day of her husband's death. Her funeral and burial are now following that pattern.
Compassion has no place in the natural order of the world which operates on the basis of necessity. Compassion opposes this order and is therefore best thought of as being in some way supernatural.~John Berger
I would take this quotation even further to say "perceived" necessity. Unless someone was going to suffer or die without the room in which "Liz" was dying, what justified moving her? What was the rush? Did anyone consider the comfort she might have had by having all of her family continue to surround her, rather that be taken across the entire hospital and placed in room that she did not even live to occupy?
Monday, September 28, 2009
One breath from death
Imagine standing at the bedside of an 80 yr. old man who has been diagnosed with ALS (a progressive, debilitating disease that destroys nerves and weakens muscles until breathing is impossible without assistance while the mind remains clear). Despite his weakness, he makes the same repetitive movements with this hands, until one of his daughters asks, "Do you want to write something, Dad?" He nodded and his daughter held a clipboard and paper while he slowly and clearly wrote, "Let me die." This is John's story of the poverty that our medical professionals are capable of inflicting on those who need them the most and the anguish that accompanies those "professional" decisions and actions. That poverty was diminished by the love, faith, and determination of John's family.
"John" had been rushed to the hospital from a nursing home when he experienced difficulty breathing. All but the most important paperwork accompanied him. There was nothing that mentioned ALS! Soon it became essential to assist John's breathing and the physicians explained that he needed to be intubated in order to receive enough oxygen to sustain life. Despite his advance directive stating "Do NOT Resuscitate" John indicated his permission to intubate and to place him on a ventilator.
Those who were with John when he wrote his request to be allowed to die, immediately asked for a meeting with his primary ICU physician. The following morning, five of John's sons and daughters gathered with the physician and showed him the clearly written request. They inquired as to how the removal of life support would progress. "John is receiving a great deal of sedation; I can't simply remove the endotracheal tube. Just think how John had still been able to walk and push your mother in her wheelchair even the morning that his difficulty breathing began" (a paraphrase of the physician response).He indicated that he would have to ask John if removal of the tube and ventilator was what he REALLY wanted.
The physician and John's family re-grouped in John's room. Standing over John and nearly shouting his words, the physician began by asking John how he was doing; he blinked his eyes. " Do you want that breathing tube taken out? You know we have turned down the ventilator so that you are taking the breaths and the machine is providing the force to breathe out for you. It's possible that you can return to pushing your wife in her wheelchair and resume your activities at the nursing home if we give this treatment time to work. So, do you want us to remove the breathing tube?" "DO YOU WANT TO DIE?" John looked at him and shook his head "No." Back in the conference room, the physician told the family that John had made the decision that he was obliged to honor and that he would remain on the ventilator.
John developed pneumonia. The medical plan was to perform a tracheotomy and an insertion of of a feeding tube through his abdominal wall and which would remove the endotracheal tube and present feeding tube and be more comfortable for John. The morning that the procedures were scheduled, John spiked a fever which did not respond to medications. Early in the afternoon, when the family visited him, John was on a cooling pad (the length of his body). He was shivering and trying to move his legs off the pad. It was obvious that he was miserable. John's gestures were frantic; the look in his eyes was one of confusion as to what was happening to him.
Several days later, John's fever was under control, but his pneumonia had worsened. He appeared to be weaker and he slept more that he was awake. He continued to initiate breathing, with the ventilator assisting in expiration. Once again, the family asked to speak with the physician. He agreed that John might require the respirator for the rest of his life. His family asked if the nursing home would let him return on a respirator and he indicated that they would not. They inquired as to where there might be a facility nearby that would take John. There was a nursing facility that would take ventilator dependent individuals for rehab. The longest he could remain there was a month! What then?? Was there a facility for long term placement? The nearest nursing home able to care for someone on a ventilator was more than an hour's drive away. His wife would only be able to see him occasionally.
Once again the family gathered together to discuss the options for their father and husband. They approached the physician the next morning with their decision to have John gradually weaned from the ventilator and to let him die in peace. This time, as the physician spoke to John, he told them how serious his condition was and that there was a great probability that he would never be able to live without a respirator. The two possibilities that he explained to John were remaining on the respirator or keeping him comfortable while respirator assistance was gradually lessened and he died. John signaled that he understood and plans were made to begin the process within the hour.
As the gradual reduction in ventilator support began, a priest friend of his family had been asked to pray with them. Everyone was gathered around the bed and the image of a large group of people, each wearing white garments and gathered before God was recalled from the Revelation to St. John the Divine. When asked who these people were, an elder responded that they were the ones who had passed through the great tribulation. John was assured that he, too, would soon be one of that multitude standing before God who would say to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant." John's monitor indicated the slowing of his heart rate and the lowering of his blood pressure. Everyone present had the opportunity to hold John and tell him how they loved him. Peacefully and painlessly, John slipped into the open arms of God. As the monitor indicated cessation of life, the priest began, "Eternal Rest grant unto John O Lord....." and the prayers of the family began as John was held in their loving arms and committed to God's care.
The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" Martin Luther King, Jr.
John's family never asked the question of the priest and the Levite. Although it was not verbalized, I sense that this was a huge question for the physician. Had John's family not been attentive to his wishes, he would be in some nursing facility; away from family and friends. He would not be able to speak and would be totally dependent upon others and machinery to sustain "life." John has moved now from the poverty of illness, fear of lawsuits that often dictate medical decisions, and total dependence upon others to a new life in the Presence of God.
"John" had been rushed to the hospital from a nursing home when he experienced difficulty breathing. All but the most important paperwork accompanied him. There was nothing that mentioned ALS! Soon it became essential to assist John's breathing and the physicians explained that he needed to be intubated in order to receive enough oxygen to sustain life. Despite his advance directive stating "Do NOT Resuscitate" John indicated his permission to intubate and to place him on a ventilator.
Those who were with John when he wrote his request to be allowed to die, immediately asked for a meeting with his primary ICU physician. The following morning, five of John's sons and daughters gathered with the physician and showed him the clearly written request. They inquired as to how the removal of life support would progress. "John is receiving a great deal of sedation; I can't simply remove the endotracheal tube. Just think how John had still been able to walk and push your mother in her wheelchair even the morning that his difficulty breathing began" (a paraphrase of the physician response).He indicated that he would have to ask John if removal of the tube and ventilator was what he REALLY wanted.
The physician and John's family re-grouped in John's room. Standing over John and nearly shouting his words, the physician began by asking John how he was doing; he blinked his eyes. " Do you want that breathing tube taken out? You know we have turned down the ventilator so that you are taking the breaths and the machine is providing the force to breathe out for you. It's possible that you can return to pushing your wife in her wheelchair and resume your activities at the nursing home if we give this treatment time to work. So, do you want us to remove the breathing tube?" "DO YOU WANT TO DIE?" John looked at him and shook his head "No." Back in the conference room, the physician told the family that John had made the decision that he was obliged to honor and that he would remain on the ventilator.
John developed pneumonia. The medical plan was to perform a tracheotomy and an insertion of of a feeding tube through his abdominal wall and which would remove the endotracheal tube and present feeding tube and be more comfortable for John. The morning that the procedures were scheduled, John spiked a fever which did not respond to medications. Early in the afternoon, when the family visited him, John was on a cooling pad (the length of his body). He was shivering and trying to move his legs off the pad. It was obvious that he was miserable. John's gestures were frantic; the look in his eyes was one of confusion as to what was happening to him.
Several days later, John's fever was under control, but his pneumonia had worsened. He appeared to be weaker and he slept more that he was awake. He continued to initiate breathing, with the ventilator assisting in expiration. Once again, the family asked to speak with the physician. He agreed that John might require the respirator for the rest of his life. His family asked if the nursing home would let him return on a respirator and he indicated that they would not. They inquired as to where there might be a facility nearby that would take John. There was a nursing facility that would take ventilator dependent individuals for rehab. The longest he could remain there was a month! What then?? Was there a facility for long term placement? The nearest nursing home able to care for someone on a ventilator was more than an hour's drive away. His wife would only be able to see him occasionally.
Once again the family gathered together to discuss the options for their father and husband. They approached the physician the next morning with their decision to have John gradually weaned from the ventilator and to let him die in peace. This time, as the physician spoke to John, he told them how serious his condition was and that there was a great probability that he would never be able to live without a respirator. The two possibilities that he explained to John were remaining on the respirator or keeping him comfortable while respirator assistance was gradually lessened and he died. John signaled that he understood and plans were made to begin the process within the hour.
As the gradual reduction in ventilator support began, a priest friend of his family had been asked to pray with them. Everyone was gathered around the bed and the image of a large group of people, each wearing white garments and gathered before God was recalled from the Revelation to St. John the Divine. When asked who these people were, an elder responded that they were the ones who had passed through the great tribulation. John was assured that he, too, would soon be one of that multitude standing before God who would say to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant." John's monitor indicated the slowing of his heart rate and the lowering of his blood pressure. Everyone present had the opportunity to hold John and tell him how they loved him. Peacefully and painlessly, John slipped into the open arms of God. As the monitor indicated cessation of life, the priest began, "Eternal Rest grant unto John O Lord....." and the prayers of the family began as John was held in their loving arms and committed to God's care.
The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" Martin Luther King, Jr.
John's family never asked the question of the priest and the Levite. Although it was not verbalized, I sense that this was a huge question for the physician. Had John's family not been attentive to his wishes, he would be in some nursing facility; away from family and friends. He would not be able to speak and would be totally dependent upon others and machinery to sustain "life." John has moved now from the poverty of illness, fear of lawsuits that often dictate medical decisions, and total dependence upon others to a new life in the Presence of God.
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Poor in Long Term Care
During the three months that I have served as a chaplain in long term care, I have identified more individuals who are poor for reasons other than lack of financial concerns. Most of these women and men are living on "memory care" units. (think Alzheimer's disease for many of them).
This particular facility has placed chaplaincy/spiritual care, within the Recreation department! I was aware from the first interview that this person wanted me to plan, preside and preach for three Sunday services as well as manage the music, encourage nursing staff to bring residents to the service, and have time in between to run to the next unit and repeat the process! I questioned the wisdom of this plan and asked if we might instead, spread the three services out during the week. "No, they must be on Sunday."
My second concern regarding worship services was the benefit to those on the two memory care units. I agree that worship is important to many people through all stages of life, but I questioned the formality of the service rather than a more relaxed worship where there might be both group activity as well as time for individual and personal interaction. "No, they must be as I have said."
When does the in depth human interaction happen for most of these residents? I've observed the nursing assistants pulling residents in wheelchairs backward where there is no hope of conversation between staff and resident. I have also observed staff members all sitting together at the desk while 30 residents sit in silence in the recreation area, in full view of those same staff members.
Of course, there are staff members who have grumbled because I question the decision to turn a dying woman on her side and facing the wall making it next to impossible for anyone to get near her, hold her hand, speak softly to her. They are the same staff members who don't seem to understand that one need not be left with drool and medication on their chin because they don't know it's there.
My heart and soul ache for these residents. In less than 90 days, I have shown that a resident who mostly vocalized sound and not words, spoke clearly to me when I patiently encouraged her to "use words." She now perks up in her wheelchair and breaks into a smile when she sees me; we wave and smile at each other now.
On these units especially, the sermon is in the presence of Christ visible and tangible through those of us who extend a hand, smile at, speak pleasantly, show consideration and love, to them as would Christ and St. Francis. It is so natural to me, and so confusing to those who make the "rules."
The poverty resulting from lack of individual attention and concern, screams out through the blank looks of some, the uncertainty of people who do attempt interaction, the tears of a woman who spends her day sitting on a bench outside the unit's elevators. "There but for the grace of God, go I" I think to myself. "I'm not budging on this requirement for three worship services on Sundays," the Recreation director insisted. Why can she not recognize that worship and the lessons from the Gospels are being lived through kind words, smiles, a brief time sitting on a couch with a lonely resident....and so many others.
What I have learned is that the push for Sunday worship as described here, is the fulfillment of recreational "activities" during those times. If I don't lead a group activity, "someone would have to be hired to fill those times in order to be compliant." "Yes, and........."
We share the wonder and the love of God with everyone we meet when we celebrate our connectedness and share our experiences and feelings in friendly one on one conversation, an arm around a lonely resident, a question about their day, a wave to everyone in the dining room, a "dance" with a woman in a wheelchair........ Spirituality is about connectedness and that is the starting point in reducing the poverty experienced by many human beings.
This particular facility has placed chaplaincy/spiritual care, within the Recreation department! I was aware from the first interview that this person wanted me to plan, preside and preach for three Sunday services as well as manage the music, encourage nursing staff to bring residents to the service, and have time in between to run to the next unit and repeat the process! I questioned the wisdom of this plan and asked if we might instead, spread the three services out during the week. "No, they must be on Sunday."
My second concern regarding worship services was the benefit to those on the two memory care units. I agree that worship is important to many people through all stages of life, but I questioned the formality of the service rather than a more relaxed worship where there might be both group activity as well as time for individual and personal interaction. "No, they must be as I have said."
When does the in depth human interaction happen for most of these residents? I've observed the nursing assistants pulling residents in wheelchairs backward where there is no hope of conversation between staff and resident. I have also observed staff members all sitting together at the desk while 30 residents sit in silence in the recreation area, in full view of those same staff members.
Of course, there are staff members who have grumbled because I question the decision to turn a dying woman on her side and facing the wall making it next to impossible for anyone to get near her, hold her hand, speak softly to her. They are the same staff members who don't seem to understand that one need not be left with drool and medication on their chin because they don't know it's there.
My heart and soul ache for these residents. In less than 90 days, I have shown that a resident who mostly vocalized sound and not words, spoke clearly to me when I patiently encouraged her to "use words." She now perks up in her wheelchair and breaks into a smile when she sees me; we wave and smile at each other now.
On these units especially, the sermon is in the presence of Christ visible and tangible through those of us who extend a hand, smile at, speak pleasantly, show consideration and love, to them as would Christ and St. Francis. It is so natural to me, and so confusing to those who make the "rules."
The poverty resulting from lack of individual attention and concern, screams out through the blank looks of some, the uncertainty of people who do attempt interaction, the tears of a woman who spends her day sitting on a bench outside the unit's elevators. "There but for the grace of God, go I" I think to myself. "I'm not budging on this requirement for three worship services on Sundays," the Recreation director insisted. Why can she not recognize that worship and the lessons from the Gospels are being lived through kind words, smiles, a brief time sitting on a couch with a lonely resident....and so many others.
What I have learned is that the push for Sunday worship as described here, is the fulfillment of recreational "activities" during those times. If I don't lead a group activity, "someone would have to be hired to fill those times in order to be compliant." "Yes, and........."
We share the wonder and the love of God with everyone we meet when we celebrate our connectedness and share our experiences and feelings in friendly one on one conversation, an arm around a lonely resident, a question about their day, a wave to everyone in the dining room, a "dance" with a woman in a wheelchair........ Spirituality is about connectedness and that is the starting point in reducing the poverty experienced by many human beings.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Preach the Gospel; Use Words if You Must
This morning, I officiated at the funeral of an 86 yr. old woman who had spent the last 14 years of her life in a long term care facility. As I drove to the funeral home, I began to think of just what I wanted to say in my homily. I had only visited this woman a few times before she was actively dying.
Suddenly, St. Francis' words came to my mind: "preach the gospel; use words if you must." I had an image of Janis (not her name) in either her wheelchair or her bed. She was unable to speak much and when she did her disease rendered the words garbled and not easily understood. Despite her inability to verbally communicate, Janis preached the gospel to all she met: She communicated with her eyes. There was a gentle calmness that I perceived as I looked into her eyes. I felt as if Janis accepted her need for help and the absolute necessity for patience with others who, like herself, could not articulate needs or thanks.
Here was a woman who struggled for each breath yet who relaxed when we prayed the rosary. One hand was set in a grasping position while the other gently grasped the hand of anyone sitting with her. Without words, there was an affirmation that sitting with a dying woman and holding her hand was a preaching of the gospel command to love one another. The longer I sat with Janis, the fewer words I uttered. Soon, we sat in silence; "tuned in" to God and one another.
There are some who ask me why I wear my Franciscan Habit in nursing facility. Contrary to what some believe, I wear it because it is a visual clue to those who do not easily comprehend spoken words, that I am a person who brings the Presence and Person of the Christ to them. Certainly this is not the only way this message is conveyed. I often greet residents on the memory units when they are in the day room. I go to each resident, speak to them, and give many hugs. Last week, I dropped into the dining room on one of these units, and the first resident I met hugged me and said, "Now, don't forget to go to everyone and give them a hug." She recognized the need that so many residents have for gentle, physical, caring, human contact.
This is the gospel at work in one of the most effective ways I have experienced it.
Suddenly, St. Francis' words came to my mind: "preach the gospel; use words if you must." I had an image of Janis (not her name) in either her wheelchair or her bed. She was unable to speak much and when she did her disease rendered the words garbled and not easily understood. Despite her inability to verbally communicate, Janis preached the gospel to all she met: She communicated with her eyes. There was a gentle calmness that I perceived as I looked into her eyes. I felt as if Janis accepted her need for help and the absolute necessity for patience with others who, like herself, could not articulate needs or thanks.
Here was a woman who struggled for each breath yet who relaxed when we prayed the rosary. One hand was set in a grasping position while the other gently grasped the hand of anyone sitting with her. Without words, there was an affirmation that sitting with a dying woman and holding her hand was a preaching of the gospel command to love one another. The longer I sat with Janis, the fewer words I uttered. Soon, we sat in silence; "tuned in" to God and one another.
There are some who ask me why I wear my Franciscan Habit in nursing facility. Contrary to what some believe, I wear it because it is a visual clue to those who do not easily comprehend spoken words, that I am a person who brings the Presence and Person of the Christ to them. Certainly this is not the only way this message is conveyed. I often greet residents on the memory units when they are in the day room. I go to each resident, speak to them, and give many hugs. Last week, I dropped into the dining room on one of these units, and the first resident I met hugged me and said, "Now, don't forget to go to everyone and give them a hug." She recognized the need that so many residents have for gentle, physical, caring, human contact.
This is the gospel at work in one of the most effective ways I have experienced it.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Grief, suicide and the poor
Can you imagine being a 29 yr. old male and a resident of a nursing facility? Add to your imagination, that person as gay and one who recently lost his life partner complications of AIDS. By the grace of God, Craig (not his real name) has been supported by his partner's family through these difficult several weeks. He was included in decision making regarding funeral planning, and his wish to have a small companion urn (containing a small amount of the cremains of his partner) was granted.
Craig has a history of depression. This past week, he received the companion urn and has had his partner's cremains at his bedside. He told staff members that he sat holding the urn to his heart and rocking back and forth as he poured out tears of loss, love, and grief.
Feeling unable to cope with his loss, Craig purposefully hiked up a dose of antidepressant medication with the intention of suicide, he became frightened and let staff members know of his actions and intentions. He was sent to the hospital and released later in the day.
Many in society today would respond to this story saying, "If he hurt so much why didn't he turn to his fag friends to hold his hand?" There are still so many places where lesbian and gay men cannot share what is in their hearts and souls and minds. "Safe" staff members knew what was going on with Craig, but they weren't always working. Because so many people didn't know how to respond, they left Craig alone or never mentioned his partner's death.
It seems to me that a large portion of human beings walk through life with blinders on; always looking directly ahead and trying to never meet the eyes of others. If we don't see, hear, or feel other's pain, depression, and confusion, we don't have to respond. If we can keep someone away by judging them unworthy of our attention, we use obstacles such as sexual orientation, race, political affiliation, socio-economic status and others, to alienate them.
Poverty is much more extensive than that which is experienced by those who lack adequate food and water, shelter, and income. Poverty is a part of loneliness, grief, loss, hopelessness. It often is the experiences of parishioners in our parishes, professionals, students, those struggling with decisions such as abortion, and many others who do not "wear the face of poverty" that we expect.
We live in such a disconnected world that we often simply don't take the time to look around us realizing that we are all children of God and called to care about and for one another. Thousands of people in Taiwan have lost their lives due to a typhoon. We acknowledge the loss, yet many of us barely give that loss of life another thought. The more we draw the shades and tighten the boundaries around us the more lacking is our spirituality. As Christians, we are called to embrace the other, to care about them, to comfort them, to do all that we can in a broken world.
If we can give only a passing prayer for thousands of people, how do we remember the individual prayers of the poor within our sight?
Craig has a history of depression. This past week, he received the companion urn and has had his partner's cremains at his bedside. He told staff members that he sat holding the urn to his heart and rocking back and forth as he poured out tears of loss, love, and grief.
Feeling unable to cope with his loss, Craig purposefully hiked up a dose of antidepressant medication with the intention of suicide, he became frightened and let staff members know of his actions and intentions. He was sent to the hospital and released later in the day.
Many in society today would respond to this story saying, "If he hurt so much why didn't he turn to his fag friends to hold his hand?" There are still so many places where lesbian and gay men cannot share what is in their hearts and souls and minds. "Safe" staff members knew what was going on with Craig, but they weren't always working. Because so many people didn't know how to respond, they left Craig alone or never mentioned his partner's death.
It seems to me that a large portion of human beings walk through life with blinders on; always looking directly ahead and trying to never meet the eyes of others. If we don't see, hear, or feel other's pain, depression, and confusion, we don't have to respond. If we can keep someone away by judging them unworthy of our attention, we use obstacles such as sexual orientation, race, political affiliation, socio-economic status and others, to alienate them.
Poverty is much more extensive than that which is experienced by those who lack adequate food and water, shelter, and income. Poverty is a part of loneliness, grief, loss, hopelessness. It often is the experiences of parishioners in our parishes, professionals, students, those struggling with decisions such as abortion, and many others who do not "wear the face of poverty" that we expect.
We live in such a disconnected world that we often simply don't take the time to look around us realizing that we are all children of God and called to care about and for one another. Thousands of people in Taiwan have lost their lives due to a typhoon. We acknowledge the loss, yet many of us barely give that loss of life another thought. The more we draw the shades and tighten the boundaries around us the more lacking is our spirituality. As Christians, we are called to embrace the other, to care about them, to comfort them, to do all that we can in a broken world.
If we can give only a passing prayer for thousands of people, how do we remember the individual prayers of the poor within our sight?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Preach the Gospel; use words if you must
Preaching the gospel by example is much more difficult than doing so by using words. This morning, I stopped at the long term care center in order to finalize my service format for tomorrow's worship. I am never able to go directly to my office. As I exit the elevator, I turn toward the day room which is often filled with residents.
This morning, there were 23 residents all sitting with absolutely no stimulus except CNN news! There were three CNA's at a back table with one resident and none of them were speaking to the resident. None of them made a move during the 20 minutes that I was in the day room, to speak or interact in any manner with the residents.
I know that many of these residents are non-verbal and others are extremely confused. On the other hand, they always respond when I go to each of them individually and speak to them. Several of the residents anger the others in that they do not speak but rather, simply vocalize in a shrieking voice and another by loudly singing out the melody of songs! I have learned that the first woman is able to speak, but needs to be reminded and have limits set. When I do this, we are able to have a conversation. This is not always an easy time, but I am generally able to have some conversation with her. Once again, the CNA's in the dayroom, looked at me as if I was crazy trying to interact with any of the residents let alone with one who would rather yell than speak.
"Preach the Gospel; use words if you must." Not all those who need a hug and some encouragement are in long term care. I have observed drivers swerve around an obviously intoxicated individual and make no attempt to move that person to safety. I have called 911 for a patrol vehicle to move an obviously intoxicated individual to safety only to be asked if that person is "an Indian." We have all been in crowds so dense that we are nearly piled one upon the other and no one speaks or acknowledges the other in any manner.
Francis understood what the disciples of Jesus couldn't grasp. They became confused with the words of the Teacher and they missed the impact of his actions. Many of us are still confused disciples of the Christ. If we can't say or write what we think, we are immobilized by anxiety and concern that we will not make an impact.
The poor will always be with us. You and I as disciples of Jesus Christ, have an obligation to become one with them, rather than engage in a "them" and "us" recognition of one another. Let's try to speak fewer words and to increase our outward and visible actions to others as we spread the Good News.
This morning, there were 23 residents all sitting with absolutely no stimulus except CNN news! There were three CNA's at a back table with one resident and none of them were speaking to the resident. None of them made a move during the 20 minutes that I was in the day room, to speak or interact in any manner with the residents.
I know that many of these residents are non-verbal and others are extremely confused. On the other hand, they always respond when I go to each of them individually and speak to them. Several of the residents anger the others in that they do not speak but rather, simply vocalize in a shrieking voice and another by loudly singing out the melody of songs! I have learned that the first woman is able to speak, but needs to be reminded and have limits set. When I do this, we are able to have a conversation. This is not always an easy time, but I am generally able to have some conversation with her. Once again, the CNA's in the dayroom, looked at me as if I was crazy trying to interact with any of the residents let alone with one who would rather yell than speak.
"Preach the Gospel; use words if you must." Not all those who need a hug and some encouragement are in long term care. I have observed drivers swerve around an obviously intoxicated individual and make no attempt to move that person to safety. I have called 911 for a patrol vehicle to move an obviously intoxicated individual to safety only to be asked if that person is "an Indian." We have all been in crowds so dense that we are nearly piled one upon the other and no one speaks or acknowledges the other in any manner.
Francis understood what the disciples of Jesus couldn't grasp. They became confused with the words of the Teacher and they missed the impact of his actions. Many of us are still confused disciples of the Christ. If we can't say or write what we think, we are immobilized by anxiety and concern that we will not make an impact.
The poor will always be with us. You and I as disciples of Jesus Christ, have an obligation to become one with them, rather than engage in a "them" and "us" recognition of one another. Let's try to speak fewer words and to increase our outward and visible actions to others as we spread the Good News.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Poverty and those living in a Persistent Vegetative State
Two weeks ago, I met Jake (not a real name). He is a 30+ yr old man residing in a long term care facility and diagnosed as being in a persistent vegetative state. I first saw him in his room. The curtains were drawn (about 1 PM), there was no music or other sound in the room. Jake's eyes moved randomly and he allowed me to place my hand in his. He drooled constantly and made no obvious connection with his environment. I spoke to him and assured him that many of us care about him.
Last week, as I was about to begin a "chaplain's chat" group, Jake was brought into the day room. The CNA placed his wheelchair outside of our circle. I immediately moved Jake into the circle and placed him next to me. As I began the group, I took Jake's hand in mind and kept it there (as a means of connecting Jake to us) throughout the next 45 minutes. It was obvious that some of the residents were uncomfortable having Jake with us. Several shook their heads as if they could not believe that I would include Jake in anything, let along "their" group!
It is obvious that Jake makes many people uncomfortable. Because of that, staff respond to the majority who would rather keep him in his room and out of sight. Certainly, we don't know what Jake is experiencing: does he recognize people present near him or hear and understand voices?
Perhaps the need to keep Jake out of sight stems from the realization that anyone of us might be in a similar state at some time. We don't want to think of living without any realization or connection with others.
This approach to Jake certainly lacks a realization of connection of others with him. There is a poverty of spirit with no acknowledgement by many residents and staff that we are truly connected to and with Jake by virtue of our human experience. Jake is being denied the possibility of human interaction at the most basic level (simply being placed in the circle).
I'll admit that it isn't especially easy to speak to someone who shows absolutely no response or indication of connectedness. I don't remember Jesus or Francis having an expectation of response. I doubt that Jake would have been excluded from any one of the large crowds that followed Jesus. If someone had tried to exclude him, certainly Jesus would have used the occasion as a teaching moment.
I have made a commitment to Jake and that is to include him wherever I can and to add variety to his days by providing music of various types, group interactions, visitors, interaction with his family, and anything else that is an acknowledgement of his humanness. How, as a follower of the Christ and Francis can I do any less?
Last week, as I was about to begin a "chaplain's chat" group, Jake was brought into the day room. The CNA placed his wheelchair outside of our circle. I immediately moved Jake into the circle and placed him next to me. As I began the group, I took Jake's hand in mind and kept it there (as a means of connecting Jake to us) throughout the next 45 minutes. It was obvious that some of the residents were uncomfortable having Jake with us. Several shook their heads as if they could not believe that I would include Jake in anything, let along "their" group!
It is obvious that Jake makes many people uncomfortable. Because of that, staff respond to the majority who would rather keep him in his room and out of sight. Certainly, we don't know what Jake is experiencing: does he recognize people present near him or hear and understand voices?
Perhaps the need to keep Jake out of sight stems from the realization that anyone of us might be in a similar state at some time. We don't want to think of living without any realization or connection with others.
This approach to Jake certainly lacks a realization of connection of others with him. There is a poverty of spirit with no acknowledgement by many residents and staff that we are truly connected to and with Jake by virtue of our human experience. Jake is being denied the possibility of human interaction at the most basic level (simply being placed in the circle).
I'll admit that it isn't especially easy to speak to someone who shows absolutely no response or indication of connectedness. I don't remember Jesus or Francis having an expectation of response. I doubt that Jake would have been excluded from any one of the large crowds that followed Jesus. If someone had tried to exclude him, certainly Jesus would have used the occasion as a teaching moment.
I have made a commitment to Jake and that is to include him wherever I can and to add variety to his days by providing music of various types, group interactions, visitors, interaction with his family, and anything else that is an acknowledgement of his humanness. How, as a follower of the Christ and Francis can I do any less?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Long Term Care Residents (Part II)
I truly don't want this blog to become a nursing home care form, yet I cannot sit by and not speak in behalf of the poor in those facilities. The incident I will reveal is true while the names of people and facility are not.
Sunday, July 26th, my roommate and I returned home following a wonderful and uplifting week end at the Dubuque Franciscan (Sisters) Motherhouse in Iowa. Two hours into our unpacking and reorientation to the week's schedule ahead of us, my chaplains pager sounded. "Zeek J died a couple of hours ago." The nurse went on to relate that they had a major problem regarding the disposition of the body. There was no designation of funeral home on the admission page nor was there any mention of such throughout the chart.
The nurse mentioned the social worker believing that the body should be sent to a local funeral home while this lack of information regarding choice of a funeral home was sorted out. I asked about family and I was told that "some friend" said she would call the VA in the morning. I explained that the VA was fine for interment information but that the body needed to go to a funeral home. I called the social worker in order to explain that a funeral home needs the consent from the legal representative before a body can be transfered to them. I stated strongly that calling an unauthorized funeral home was both illegal and immoral, citing the "removal charges" that might be duplicated if the next of kin decided to not make arrangements at that funeral home.
Finally, I was able to reach the "friend or whoever" of the deceased. I asked what Joan's relationship was and she exclaimed, "I'm his wife." I could barely believe my ears! How could our staff not have asked about relationship?!!!! I identified myself as the chaplain (made no mention of being a licensed mortician) and explained that I had a great deal of experience in funeral law and practice. I further explained what the VA would provide and why a local funeral home was needed. She understood more as we visited and finally decided on a local funeral home. While we spoke, I found the phone number for her and directed her to call the funeral home and have them pick up her husband's remains yet that night.
Approximately 90 minutes from being paged, I sat at my desk and held my head as I asked myself how such a mess could have ever happened. It was later that I began to consider who the poor were in this situation.
1. Essential information re: funeral home was not obtained at the time of admission.
2. That lack of information was not addressed by social services, nursing or anyone else until
the resident died.
3. The Social Worker believed that it was undignified to cover the deceased and move his
remains (bed and all) into a private room until we found the solution to the situation at hand.
4. Furthermore, she had no idea what constitutes legal right to authorize a funeral home and
arrange for removal of the deceased.
5. No one took time to accurately determine the relationship of the person who was notified of
the death and who came to the nursing home.
Nurses, social workers, nursing assistants were all confused about how to handle a situation that never should have occurred. Admission professionals dropped the ball by not obtaining information regarding choice of funeral home, and I was not called to be with that person and assist in the process.
I believe that spirituality was greatly lacking because interconnectedness with one another and with the deceased and his family, did not exist. The deceased was pretty much "lost" during the several hours of questions, worry, passing the buck and so on. Initially, I believed this incident to be somewhat removed from my original intention for this blog, but I have reconsidered. We haven't solved the problems of the hungry, the financially poor, the homeless, the uneducated, the sick, the elderly, the mentally ill and others, because we have not truly connected with them so as to view them as equal in our sight as well as the sight of God. We have not found the human connectedness free of prejudice, superiority, pity, and preconceived notions.
If we cannot even take care of a deceased body and determine the relationship of the person who responds to a death call (whom we can see) how can we respond to one another (who we do see) and to God, in Whom we believe and put our trust?
Sunday, July 26th, my roommate and I returned home following a wonderful and uplifting week end at the Dubuque Franciscan (Sisters) Motherhouse in Iowa. Two hours into our unpacking and reorientation to the week's schedule ahead of us, my chaplains pager sounded. "Zeek J died a couple of hours ago." The nurse went on to relate that they had a major problem regarding the disposition of the body. There was no designation of funeral home on the admission page nor was there any mention of such throughout the chart.
The nurse mentioned the social worker believing that the body should be sent to a local funeral home while this lack of information regarding choice of a funeral home was sorted out. I asked about family and I was told that "some friend" said she would call the VA in the morning. I explained that the VA was fine for interment information but that the body needed to go to a funeral home. I called the social worker in order to explain that a funeral home needs the consent from the legal representative before a body can be transfered to them. I stated strongly that calling an unauthorized funeral home was both illegal and immoral, citing the "removal charges" that might be duplicated if the next of kin decided to not make arrangements at that funeral home.
Finally, I was able to reach the "friend or whoever" of the deceased. I asked what Joan's relationship was and she exclaimed, "I'm his wife." I could barely believe my ears! How could our staff not have asked about relationship?!!!! I identified myself as the chaplain (made no mention of being a licensed mortician) and explained that I had a great deal of experience in funeral law and practice. I further explained what the VA would provide and why a local funeral home was needed. She understood more as we visited and finally decided on a local funeral home. While we spoke, I found the phone number for her and directed her to call the funeral home and have them pick up her husband's remains yet that night.
Approximately 90 minutes from being paged, I sat at my desk and held my head as I asked myself how such a mess could have ever happened. It was later that I began to consider who the poor were in this situation.
1. Essential information re: funeral home was not obtained at the time of admission.
2. That lack of information was not addressed by social services, nursing or anyone else until
the resident died.
3. The Social Worker believed that it was undignified to cover the deceased and move his
remains (bed and all) into a private room until we found the solution to the situation at hand.
4. Furthermore, she had no idea what constitutes legal right to authorize a funeral home and
arrange for removal of the deceased.
5. No one took time to accurately determine the relationship of the person who was notified of
the death and who came to the nursing home.
Nurses, social workers, nursing assistants were all confused about how to handle a situation that never should have occurred. Admission professionals dropped the ball by not obtaining information regarding choice of funeral home, and I was not called to be with that person and assist in the process.
I believe that spirituality was greatly lacking because interconnectedness with one another and with the deceased and his family, did not exist. The deceased was pretty much "lost" during the several hours of questions, worry, passing the buck and so on. Initially, I believed this incident to be somewhat removed from my original intention for this blog, but I have reconsidered. We haven't solved the problems of the hungry, the financially poor, the homeless, the uneducated, the sick, the elderly, the mentally ill and others, because we have not truly connected with them so as to view them as equal in our sight as well as the sight of God. We have not found the human connectedness free of prejudice, superiority, pity, and preconceived notions.
If we cannot even take care of a deceased body and determine the relationship of the person who responds to a death call (whom we can see) how can we respond to one another (who we do see) and to God, in Whom we believe and put our trust?
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Where does spirituality fit into this picture?
Spirituality has been defined and explained in many ways, most of which speak to interconnection of creation. As I read through my previous postings, I find this interconnection one of the missing pieces (that which at the heart of the poverty). Our spirituality is essential to our development of values and our understanding of the very meaning of life.
Each of the experiences of poverty about which I have written, exemplify my understanding of spirituality. As spiritual persons, we cannot walk through life with blinders keeping us from seeing those around us. Rather, we are keenly aware of others and we are disturbed when the other is marginalized, forgotten, neglected, disrespected.
Even as I write, my mind has focused on Henry Nouwen's book, WITH OPEN HANDS. Fr. Nouwen speaks to the necessity of opening our hands in order to receive others. As disciples, he tells us that our responsibility is to challenge society, to ask the difficult questions, to not accept the status quo.
It is not enough for me to lift up the poor as I write. I MUST act to change the society, the systems, the mindsets, the prejudices that cause others to be impoverished and marginalized. This is hardly an easy commitment. As spiritual persons, we must do everything in our power advocate for changes: help for the homeless, respectful areas in nursing homes and other places for those who are dying, outreach to all who reside in nursing homes (even the most cranky).
Saint Francis of Assisi recognized this interconnection with all of creation. He embraced people, animals, nature, the sun and moon, as his brothers and sisters. Francis treated the wealthy and the poor alike and gave to the poor what others refused to give-unconditional love, human loving interaction, kindness and compassion.
Each of the experiences of poverty about which I have written, exemplify my understanding of spirituality. As spiritual persons, we cannot walk through life with blinders keeping us from seeing those around us. Rather, we are keenly aware of others and we are disturbed when the other is marginalized, forgotten, neglected, disrespected.
Even as I write, my mind has focused on Henry Nouwen's book, WITH OPEN HANDS. Fr. Nouwen speaks to the necessity of opening our hands in order to receive others. As disciples, he tells us that our responsibility is to challenge society, to ask the difficult questions, to not accept the status quo.
It is not enough for me to lift up the poor as I write. I MUST act to change the society, the systems, the mindsets, the prejudices that cause others to be impoverished and marginalized. This is hardly an easy commitment. As spiritual persons, we must do everything in our power advocate for changes: help for the homeless, respectful areas in nursing homes and other places for those who are dying, outreach to all who reside in nursing homes (even the most cranky).
Saint Francis of Assisi recognized this interconnection with all of creation. He embraced people, animals, nature, the sun and moon, as his brothers and sisters. Francis treated the wealthy and the poor alike and gave to the poor what others refused to give-unconditional love, human loving interaction, kindness and compassion.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Are the Dying Poor?
Like most Americans living in the 1960's, I clearly recall the assination of President Kennedy. I shed tears as the announcement was made over the school PA system, as I watched thousands pass his casket in the rotunda, the procession to Arlington Cemetery and the mourners as the interrment ended and the rituals came to an end. Had anyone asked me why the tears, I would have responded, "He's dead." Dead meant no more interactions with family and friends, no celebrations of special events, no long awaited vacations, no playing in the snow (even for adults), no snuggling with those we love. That certainly seemed to poverty (at least on a subliminal level).
Our attitudes and understands of death have changed dramatically in the last 20+ years. An increasing number of family members now are very much engaged in the care of their dying parents and other family members. Hospice assists the dying person in "dying with dignity."
All of this created an uneasiness within me; maybe the dying aren't poor.
In 2007, USA TODAY reported that 1.8 million people in the United States resided in nursing facilities and receive a full range of care from simple monitoring for safety to hospice care when they are dying. With institutionalized nursing care, comes the poverty; reduction in decision making, rarely a choice of menu for daily meals, often no choice where one will be placed in the dining room, others deciding when it is time to bathe, shared room-diminished privacy, and the list continues.
For the last four years, I have worked part time as a hospice visit nurse. This generally meant visiting hospice clients who were residents in local nursing homes. I was appalled by what I witnessed in some locations. Residents near death were in darkened rooms, televisions were turned to CNN and blasted the news, there was resistance to hospice staff in some homes, there was no place for visitors to sit and be comfortable while visiting the resident....and the list continues.
I would take this a step further to say that often the dead are poor. I don't mean monetarily necessarily. An example of this is a 20+ yr old male who was convicted of murdering a mother and two adolescent children and a man and his adult daughter. The funeral director was angry with another director for accepting the death call. He told that director that there would be no one to assist with moving the body from the Medical Examiner, none to move the body from the cart to the embalming table, and none if there was difficulty with the embalming. The rationale was that this was a murderer, he didn't deserve any care. The reality is that the body was simply only a body. It was the body of someone whose family loved him despite the conviction and who grieved deeply for him. To have one's body cast aside as if it was the one who murdered is to be poor. To have professionals refuse to assist in the care of that body is (in my opinion) unforgivable.
If we are truly Christians, we must read and make ours the words of Jesus: words of compassion, care, concern, forgiveness rather than scorn, hatred, depersonalization, and sin. Jesus reminds us that we will always have the poor with us, even in death.
Our attitudes and understands of death have changed dramatically in the last 20+ years. An increasing number of family members now are very much engaged in the care of their dying parents and other family members. Hospice assists the dying person in "dying with dignity."
All of this created an uneasiness within me; maybe the dying aren't poor.
In 2007, USA TODAY reported that 1.8 million people in the United States resided in nursing facilities and receive a full range of care from simple monitoring for safety to hospice care when they are dying. With institutionalized nursing care, comes the poverty; reduction in decision making, rarely a choice of menu for daily meals, often no choice where one will be placed in the dining room, others deciding when it is time to bathe, shared room-diminished privacy, and the list continues.
For the last four years, I have worked part time as a hospice visit nurse. This generally meant visiting hospice clients who were residents in local nursing homes. I was appalled by what I witnessed in some locations. Residents near death were in darkened rooms, televisions were turned to CNN and blasted the news, there was resistance to hospice staff in some homes, there was no place for visitors to sit and be comfortable while visiting the resident....and the list continues.
I would take this a step further to say that often the dead are poor. I don't mean monetarily necessarily. An example of this is a 20+ yr old male who was convicted of murdering a mother and two adolescent children and a man and his adult daughter. The funeral director was angry with another director for accepting the death call. He told that director that there would be no one to assist with moving the body from the Medical Examiner, none to move the body from the cart to the embalming table, and none if there was difficulty with the embalming. The rationale was that this was a murderer, he didn't deserve any care. The reality is that the body was simply only a body. It was the body of someone whose family loved him despite the conviction and who grieved deeply for him. To have one's body cast aside as if it was the one who murdered is to be poor. To have professionals refuse to assist in the care of that body is (in my opinion) unforgivable.
If we are truly Christians, we must read and make ours the words of Jesus: words of compassion, care, concern, forgiveness rather than scorn, hatred, depersonalization, and sin. Jesus reminds us that we will always have the poor with us, even in death.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
African countries facing HIV/AIDS medication shorteage
God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, O Good and gracious God, you are the God of health and wholeness. In the plan of your creation, you call us to struggle in our sickness and to cling always to the cross of your Son. Father, we are your servants. Many of us are now suffering with HIV or AIDS. We come before you, and ask you, if it is your holy will, to take away this suffering from us, restore us to health and lead us to know you and your powerful healing, love of body and spirit. We ask you also to be with those of us who nurse your sick ones. We are the mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children, and friends of your suffering people. It is so hard for us to see those whom we love suffer. You know what it is to suffer. Help us to minister in loving care, support, and patience to your people who suffer with HIV and AIDS. Lead us to do whatever it will take to eradicate this illness from the lives of those who are touched by it, both directly and indirectly. Trusting in you and the strength of your Spirit, we pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.
-The African American AIDS Taskforce
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here we are, nearly thirty years of known HIV/AIDS. It's been an uphill battle yet, once the reality that this is not simply a disease of the gay community, there has been a tremendous outreach here in the USA toward providing medical care, services, and support for all of those who are impacted by AIDS.
In stark contrast, is Africa. Stigma, living in rural areas, lack of adequate sanitation, and other conditions, have made possible the obliteration of families and communities. The news yesterday reported that funds for HIV medications are running out in Africa and that thousands of persons living with HIV/AIDS may be without medication; Africa has not run out of those living with HIV/AIDS.
Using a somewhat overused question, I ask, "What would Jesus do?" From this question, each of us must begin to ask, "How can I help?" "What can I do?" Certainly there is no immediate "cure" for the problems facing persons living with HIV/AIDS in Africa. We can pray for changes of heart that slow the process of relief for this infection: governments, churches, poor living conditions, lack of understanding and others.
In order to impact the HIV infection rate as well as the AIDS death rate in Africa, the Roman Catholic Church especially, must understand that encouraging the use of condoms is one of the most effective means to this end. We must move from an unbending understanding of moral behavior to a compassionate understanding that we don't have the time to change some behaviors, but we do have the ability to lessen the number of those becoming infected by HIV.
The people of Africa who are impacted by HIV/AIDS (which is basically all of Africa in one way or another) are the poor. I don't believe for a mili-second that Jesus would ever prohibit a product that would greatly lessen infection by a deadly virus. Along with allowing condoms, encouraging, education, and providing compassionate care, Jesus would educate and would encourage compassionate educators to begin a process of change leading to safer sexual practices, better hygeine, improvements in living conditions (cleaner water, better housing, and so on).
I fully believe that WE, the people of God are often responsible for keeping the poor in that condition! It's easier to have the government provide services for the poor and for us to feel good when we drop a handful of change into the hand of someone on the street. We don't have to know "those people" and we don't have to remember them.
Write unceasingly to your US congresspersons. Learn the facts regarding HIV infection in poor countries. Be attentive to the attitude of Jesus as presented in scripture, as he relates to the poor, the destitute, the unwanted, the misunderstood, the sick and wounded. You and I have the ability to make a difference. Most importantly, we have a responsibility as godly persons to do so.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Our response to the poor in long term care facilities
Several weeks ago, I accepted a half time position as a nursing home chaplain. This facility has several hundred residents and only one chaplain (me). With that number of folks to visit, I have tried to focus on one nursing unit a day as well as to respond to requests for a visit and those who are dying and/or families of the deceased.
As I walk through the hallways, I am aware of residents in their rooms and make mental notes to visit each of them with some regularity. Early this week, I was ready to go home; there had been a death, a second resident near death, and several of the residents upset that they would not be leaving the transitional unit for home as they had anticipated, but they were rather, being moved into the skilled care rooms on another unit. As I neared my office, I saw a resident in her room and didn't even consider stopping. I stopped suddenly, as if someone was in my path urging me to turn around and check in on the resident I had elected to not see. There she was, with her wheel chair foot rest caught on her room mate's bed and she couldn't move back into her own area of the room. I recognized her as a woman with whom I had visited the day she was told she could not go home, but would be moving to long term care. She was inconsolable and we simply sat together as she began to mourn the loss of the life to which she was accustom.
As I entered the room, I asked if I might be of assistance. She responded that she didn't know what was keeping her from moving her wheel chair. I immediately realized that her wheel chair was caught on a bed frame, and after explaining what we needed to do to free her, I was able to move the bed and finally wheel this woman back into her own "room." She was most grateful and she thanked me for coming to visit her.
As I left the room and resumed the walk to my office, I realized how many of our residents must find themselves in similar circumstances much of the time. I was struck with the selfishness of my decision to pass by this woman but "see her another day." I also realized how we marginalize those who show no obvious need at the moment leading us to continue whatever we had been doing. This was a humbling realization and an even greater experience of the blindness that can so easily overcome everyone of us in relation to those we meet and pass by daily. I was reminded too, that the only thing upon which we can count is the moment. There is no assurance that either that resident or I would be here tomorrow. In not taking the time to stop, I would have refused a God given gift of myself to another and denied the other person the comfort and freedom of unrestricted movement in her room.
The bushel basket that so easily covers our light, is also responsible for our times of unawareness of and outreach to the marginalized and poor. Let us throw off that which dims to light and become bright and perpetual beacons in the world.
As I walk through the hallways, I am aware of residents in their rooms and make mental notes to visit each of them with some regularity. Early this week, I was ready to go home; there had been a death, a second resident near death, and several of the residents upset that they would not be leaving the transitional unit for home as they had anticipated, but they were rather, being moved into the skilled care rooms on another unit. As I neared my office, I saw a resident in her room and didn't even consider stopping. I stopped suddenly, as if someone was in my path urging me to turn around and check in on the resident I had elected to not see. There she was, with her wheel chair foot rest caught on her room mate's bed and she couldn't move back into her own area of the room. I recognized her as a woman with whom I had visited the day she was told she could not go home, but would be moving to long term care. She was inconsolable and we simply sat together as she began to mourn the loss of the life to which she was accustom.
As I entered the room, I asked if I might be of assistance. She responded that she didn't know what was keeping her from moving her wheel chair. I immediately realized that her wheel chair was caught on a bed frame, and after explaining what we needed to do to free her, I was able to move the bed and finally wheel this woman back into her own "room." She was most grateful and she thanked me for coming to visit her.
As I left the room and resumed the walk to my office, I realized how many of our residents must find themselves in similar circumstances much of the time. I was struck with the selfishness of my decision to pass by this woman but "see her another day." I also realized how we marginalize those who show no obvious need at the moment leading us to continue whatever we had been doing. This was a humbling realization and an even greater experience of the blindness that can so easily overcome everyone of us in relation to those we meet and pass by daily. I was reminded too, that the only thing upon which we can count is the moment. There is no assurance that either that resident or I would be here tomorrow. In not taking the time to stop, I would have refused a God given gift of myself to another and denied the other person the comfort and freedom of unrestricted movement in her room.
The bushel basket that so easily covers our light, is also responsible for our times of unawareness of and outreach to the marginalized and poor. Let us throw off that which dims to light and become bright and perpetual beacons in the world.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Who Cares for the poor who struggle with the Catholic Church and abortion?
I wholeheartedly praise the President of Notre Dame University in having President Obama speak at today's commencement. Who else would speak to those students who have had abortions or are presently contemplating and struggling with having an abortion? Those young women as well as the father's of their unborn child) need support. They are a part of an ever growing poor in our country.
This isn't meant to be an anti Catholic post today, yet I must admit that I can barely listen to what the Pope has to say without outrage and disgust! He continues to laud "natural family planning" despite the reality that the sexual urge doesn't always conform to one particular time in a woman's cycle. He has forbidden the use of condoms in a country that has been devastated by HIV/AIDS. Rather than present sex as a natural part of relationship, the pontiff has reduced these actions to base and often sinful.
Have you ever actually risked walking past a women's health clinic when "good" Roman Catholics are gathered with their signs and praying the rosary? Last week, I drove past a clinic in St. Paul, MN and through the crowd of protesters, I could see two women, huddled along side of the building. One woman seemed to be attempting to enter the building but seemed fearful of the crowd. I have no idea what happened; I have great empathy for that woman.
Poverty is far greater than loss of income and possessions. Poverty includes the loss of personal choice, and the right to freely receive health care where it is desired. Those who shamelessly protest and psychologically and spiritually torment those women are sinful. We know what their intentions are; we do not know why a woman is entering a women's health clinic yet the protests are there for all.
Blessed are the women who suffer the pain and humiliation at women's health clinics.
This isn't meant to be an anti Catholic post today, yet I must admit that I can barely listen to what the Pope has to say without outrage and disgust! He continues to laud "natural family planning" despite the reality that the sexual urge doesn't always conform to one particular time in a woman's cycle. He has forbidden the use of condoms in a country that has been devastated by HIV/AIDS. Rather than present sex as a natural part of relationship, the pontiff has reduced these actions to base and often sinful.
Have you ever actually risked walking past a women's health clinic when "good" Roman Catholics are gathered with their signs and praying the rosary? Last week, I drove past a clinic in St. Paul, MN and through the crowd of protesters, I could see two women, huddled along side of the building. One woman seemed to be attempting to enter the building but seemed fearful of the crowd. I have no idea what happened; I have great empathy for that woman.
Poverty is far greater than loss of income and possessions. Poverty includes the loss of personal choice, and the right to freely receive health care where it is desired. Those who shamelessly protest and psychologically and spiritually torment those women are sinful. We know what their intentions are; we do not know why a woman is entering a women's health clinic yet the protests are there for all.
Blessed are the women who suffer the pain and humiliation at women's health clinics.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Do We Really See the Poor?
This past winter I stopped in the local SAVERS discount store. As I walked from my warm car, I passed a young Native American man sitting out in the cold wearing only a long sleeve shirt and light weight sweatshirt. I sat with him and we had a nice visit. He too, is Lakota and we had much in common. I wished him well and contined on into the store. I found that I couldn't focus on the several items I had come to purchase because this young man kept appearing before me. Finally, I went over to the sweatshirt aisle and I found four heavy sweatshirts with hoods and each marked down to $1.00. I purchased them and immediately took them outside to my new friend. He couldn't believe his good fortune. He put two of them on and said that it was the first time he had been warm in many days. As I walked away from "Ken" I wondered if I had just purchased sweatshirts for Jesus!!!
Why do we put so much energy in avoiding interaction with the poor? Are we concerned that we aren't far from being in their position? Are our standards of living so high that we simply can't comprehend the situations of each of these folks we meet? Does each poor person we pass by remind us how much we don't know about the poor? Does the Christ tug at our hearts and remind us of his words, "when I was thirsty, you gave me a drink; when I was hungry, you gave me in food. When I was lonely, you visited me and when I was sick, you cared for me."
When we truly recognize Jesus in the poor, we will find that he is everywhere. We will stop and visit more often and more easily with those we meet outside of stores. We will be moved to bring something out of those stores for the poor. We'll be able to look past their tattered clothing and embrace them.
Once we recognize Jesus in the visibly poor, we will begin to realize that every day we meet those who are poor and who show no outward signs of poverty. They might be experiencing broken relationships, or difficulties at work. A parent may be ill or being moved to a nursing home. A smile and a "hello" can make a huge difference in someone's life.
Why do we put so much energy in avoiding interaction with the poor? Are we concerned that we aren't far from being in their position? Are our standards of living so high that we simply can't comprehend the situations of each of these folks we meet? Does each poor person we pass by remind us how much we don't know about the poor? Does the Christ tug at our hearts and remind us of his words, "when I was thirsty, you gave me a drink; when I was hungry, you gave me in food. When I was lonely, you visited me and when I was sick, you cared for me."
When we truly recognize Jesus in the poor, we will find that he is everywhere. We will stop and visit more often and more easily with those we meet outside of stores. We will be moved to bring something out of those stores for the poor. We'll be able to look past their tattered clothing and embrace them.
Once we recognize Jesus in the visibly poor, we will begin to realize that every day we meet those who are poor and who show no outward signs of poverty. They might be experiencing broken relationships, or difficulties at work. A parent may be ill or being moved to a nursing home. A smile and a "hello" can make a huge difference in someone's life.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
What Does the Christ Teach Us About the Poor?
This is a question that can neither be dismissed by followers of the Christ, nor can it easily answered (not missing a teaching). In the earliest days of his ministry, Jesus is said to have called a group of fishermen to walk and teach with him. They appear in scripture as "religious" Jews; those who adhered to dietary laws, worshiped in the synagogue, and followed the letter of the law of orthodox Judaism. They knew what they were to do and when they were to do it and found it difficult to contradict their religious tradition.
The first disciples of the Christ were poor themselves. I don't mean financially poor (which they might well have been), but poor in the sense of their blind adherence to religious law and ritual. Jesus explained that he was to proclaim and teach a new law; a law grounded in respect and compassion; equality and integrity. This confused the disciples and they questioned most of what they heard from Jesus. They feared for their spiritual well being when Jesus' and their actions went against the tradition and laws of their religion.
Despite the present recession and economic insecurity, most Americans want to do all that we can to maintain the look of confidence and economic well being. We would rather carry groceries in bags with well known names than to be seen bringing in groceries in our own re-sused bags or indicating a low cost grocery store.
During these uncertain times, there have been wonderful news stories about families working together to make ends meet. Some are sharing home garden space with one another and planting vegetables, others have turned their backs on long standing traditions of lavish proms and hundreds of dollars in formal wear for a "prom clothing" exchange and recycled prom gowns, shoes and other accessories. We have learned that together we can do better than we can do alone and that more individuals and families benefit from joint effort.
Jesus spoke with the "poor" of society. He welcomed children to gather with him and women were encouraged to speak rather than remain silent. He treated the rich tax collector and those living with leprosy, in the same manner and respect. He violated orthodox Judaism in order to make the point that caring for others is more important than ignoring them because there is a law prohibiting reaching out, feeding them, what they could be fed, or whatever.
Indeed, we are all poor in one way or another. Last weekend, I sat in a gathering of Sisters and as we began sharing about our lives since our last meeting, I was acutely aware of my poor hearing. I strained to hear, but I missed much of the conversation. I don't have the finances to go out and purchase a hearing aid at this time. Once I said something about my inability to hear well, several of the Sisters periodically looked over at me to see if I was hearing what was being said. Not having money for a hearing aid was not the source of my poverty; it was my feeling marginalized in a situation where I was a member of a group and didn't know all that was being said. Jesus was present in that group, especially in those who reached out, not to encourage me to buy a hearing aid, but who filled in the blanks created by my hearing deficit.
We don't have to look far beyond ourselves to find the poor, and we need only to remind ourselves of the example of the Christ when we encounter those who are poor and we reach out in love and embrace each of them as sisters and brothers.
The first disciples of the Christ were poor themselves. I don't mean financially poor (which they might well have been), but poor in the sense of their blind adherence to religious law and ritual. Jesus explained that he was to proclaim and teach a new law; a law grounded in respect and compassion; equality and integrity. This confused the disciples and they questioned most of what they heard from Jesus. They feared for their spiritual well being when Jesus' and their actions went against the tradition and laws of their religion.
Despite the present recession and economic insecurity, most Americans want to do all that we can to maintain the look of confidence and economic well being. We would rather carry groceries in bags with well known names than to be seen bringing in groceries in our own re-sused bags or indicating a low cost grocery store.
During these uncertain times, there have been wonderful news stories about families working together to make ends meet. Some are sharing home garden space with one another and planting vegetables, others have turned their backs on long standing traditions of lavish proms and hundreds of dollars in formal wear for a "prom clothing" exchange and recycled prom gowns, shoes and other accessories. We have learned that together we can do better than we can do alone and that more individuals and families benefit from joint effort.
Jesus spoke with the "poor" of society. He welcomed children to gather with him and women were encouraged to speak rather than remain silent. He treated the rich tax collector and those living with leprosy, in the same manner and respect. He violated orthodox Judaism in order to make the point that caring for others is more important than ignoring them because there is a law prohibiting reaching out, feeding them, what they could be fed, or whatever.
Indeed, we are all poor in one way or another. Last weekend, I sat in a gathering of Sisters and as we began sharing about our lives since our last meeting, I was acutely aware of my poor hearing. I strained to hear, but I missed much of the conversation. I don't have the finances to go out and purchase a hearing aid at this time. Once I said something about my inability to hear well, several of the Sisters periodically looked over at me to see if I was hearing what was being said. Not having money for a hearing aid was not the source of my poverty; it was my feeling marginalized in a situation where I was a member of a group and didn't know all that was being said. Jesus was present in that group, especially in those who reached out, not to encourage me to buy a hearing aid, but who filled in the blanks created by my hearing deficit.
We don't have to look far beyond ourselves to find the poor, and we need only to remind ourselves of the example of the Christ when we encounter those who are poor and we reach out in love and embrace each of them as sisters and brothers.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Poverty is more than a lack of money
I've recently been getting eight or ten calls a day on my cell phone from a number in Utah. I don't know anyone in Utah and all any of the voice mail messages tell me is to return their call. I don't respond to numbers and messages as unfriendly and mysterious as that.
When my phone rang this morning and the number showed Hawai'i, I was pretty certain that it was someone associated with the Utah callers and I didn't answer. A couple of hours later, I listened to the voice mail, and heard an anxious woman's voice asking for information on funeral assistance. I wanted to kick myself for not ignoring my aggravation at the previous calls in order to be available at the time of this call.
While dialing the number in Hawai'i, I wondered what I had to offer a family several thousand miles as well as across the Pacific ocean. A very quiet voice answered the phone. The woman explained that she needed to know what "kind of funeral help" we offer. I asked her about the circumstances of the death and she began to tell me about her several month old infant who suffocated. The infant stopped breathing and was resucitated. She is on life support (ventilator) and without mechanical ventilation, she will die; her systems have closed down and the damage is irreversible. This family has decided to let their little one die with dignity and with all of them with her as all forms of life support are removed and she peacefully passes from this life to the next.
Ten years ago, when this funeral home was not even a thought yet, an elder encouraged me to halp Native Americans transport their deceased family members home for burial. Traditional funeral home costs were far greater than most people could afford. This work continued for a number of years while the entire scope of denial of services, insensitive treatment of poor families, poor quality merchandise, and lack of respect were what many family members reported as the standard. What they could finally count on was transportation of the body with dignity and respect and a modest contribution toward the cost of that transportation when it was outside of Minnesota.
The grieving mother with whom I spoke today, did not share her financial situation with me. I know the area on the island where she lives and that's about all. I believe that she does not have much financially. I also believe that she feels the pains of poverty: the loss of a child, the need to ask for assistance, the guilt at not being able to provide without help.
In a sense, I felt as if I was hearing Mary, the mother of Jesus, as Joseph of Arimatheia offered her a tomb for Jesus' body as it was removed from the cross. Poverty, whether it comes from low income, grief, insecurity, depression, or whatever, leaves us vulnerable and often in pain. We never know when we will encounter the poor or how we might encounter them. We do know with great certainty that we don't have to look far nor seek them out, for they are in all the places that we are. They are fellow worshippers, individuals walking down the same sidewalk, taking their kids to school. They are men/women, young/old, all races and creeds.
When my phone rang this morning and the number showed Hawai'i, I was pretty certain that it was someone associated with the Utah callers and I didn't answer. A couple of hours later, I listened to the voice mail, and heard an anxious woman's voice asking for information on funeral assistance. I wanted to kick myself for not ignoring my aggravation at the previous calls in order to be available at the time of this call.
While dialing the number in Hawai'i, I wondered what I had to offer a family several thousand miles as well as across the Pacific ocean. A very quiet voice answered the phone. The woman explained that she needed to know what "kind of funeral help" we offer. I asked her about the circumstances of the death and she began to tell me about her several month old infant who suffocated. The infant stopped breathing and was resucitated. She is on life support (ventilator) and without mechanical ventilation, she will die; her systems have closed down and the damage is irreversible. This family has decided to let their little one die with dignity and with all of them with her as all forms of life support are removed and she peacefully passes from this life to the next.
Ten years ago, when this funeral home was not even a thought yet, an elder encouraged me to halp Native Americans transport their deceased family members home for burial. Traditional funeral home costs were far greater than most people could afford. This work continued for a number of years while the entire scope of denial of services, insensitive treatment of poor families, poor quality merchandise, and lack of respect were what many family members reported as the standard. What they could finally count on was transportation of the body with dignity and respect and a modest contribution toward the cost of that transportation when it was outside of Minnesota.
The grieving mother with whom I spoke today, did not share her financial situation with me. I know the area on the island where she lives and that's about all. I believe that she does not have much financially. I also believe that she feels the pains of poverty: the loss of a child, the need to ask for assistance, the guilt at not being able to provide without help.
In a sense, I felt as if I was hearing Mary, the mother of Jesus, as Joseph of Arimatheia offered her a tomb for Jesus' body as it was removed from the cross. Poverty, whether it comes from low income, grief, insecurity, depression, or whatever, leaves us vulnerable and often in pain. We never know when we will encounter the poor or how we might encounter them. We do know with great certainty that we don't have to look far nor seek them out, for they are in all the places that we are. They are fellow worshippers, individuals walking down the same sidewalk, taking their kids to school. They are men/women, young/old, all races and creeds.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Swine Flu and the Poor
The news is frightening this morning. Swine flu is aggressively moving thoughout the United States, where six states have people who have been infected by the virus. Why exactly, do I feel so vulnerable? Image all those at risk who live on the streets and take no regular precautions against any viruses (HIV, Influenza A and B, and many others). How many of these, our sisters and brothers, will contract the virus? How might we respond? How would the Christ respond?
Christ, I am certain, would respond compassionately. We must get the word out to those who are the most vulnerable. I believe that the best way to do this is personal, one on one, conversation with those who are the least likely to be aware of this serious virus. We must be vigilant and reach out to those who need medical attention. Most importantly, all of our actions must be grounded in the compassion that the Christ had for those who were/are vulnerable.
We are in the early stage of this possible worldwide Swine flu concern. Let us not forget to pray for those who are infected with the virus, those who are most vulnerable, and for the grace to respond as the visible presences of Christ in the world.
Christ, I am certain, would respond compassionately. We must get the word out to those who are the most vulnerable. I believe that the best way to do this is personal, one on one, conversation with those who are the least likely to be aware of this serious virus. We must be vigilant and reach out to those who need medical attention. Most importantly, all of our actions must be grounded in the compassion that the Christ had for those who were/are vulnerable.
We are in the early stage of this possible worldwide Swine flu concern. Let us not forget to pray for those who are infected with the virus, those who are most vulnerable, and for the grace to respond as the visible presences of Christ in the world.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The No Show Family
The family I had expected did not show up at my office. This would generally make me crazy, but as fragmented as the caller was last night, I'm not surprised. This is another manifestation I encounter with the poor; they need assistance yet they often don't follow through. I've been called when a body is already at another funeral home. I know that the family is often being charged more than they can afford or the funeral home is only offering the bare essentials (fiberboard, cloth covered caskets, no frills) in order to make some income.
I became a funeral director to serve the poor and had no expectation of making a living doing so. This means that I will cut my basic service fee in order to upgrade a casket, or provide a hearse rather than my van, and so on. With the huge overhead of most funeral homes, these cuts are not feasible.
More about funerals and the poor another time.
I became a funeral director to serve the poor and had no expectation of making a living doing so. This means that I will cut my basic service fee in order to upgrade a casket, or provide a hearse rather than my van, and so on. With the huge overhead of most funeral homes, these cuts are not feasible.
More about funerals and the poor another time.
The Poor We Will Have Always With Us
Don't leave yet. Of course you know that the poor are with us. The question within the statement is who we identify as the poor. With today's uncertain economy, there is a huge increase in those who consider themselves poor. Their criteria is based on declining income, loss of jobs, homes, and other material possessions. While I understand these circumstances and losses, I also look beyond them and include those who have experienced grief (from a death, separation, divorce, etc.), those who suffer depression and many others.
As a member of a Franciscan Religious Order, I am compelled to follow the example of St. Francis of Assisi, who focused his entire ministry on and with the poor. My primary focus is on those who are unable to pay the high costs of traditional funeral homes and are snubbed if they are dependent upon county funds to pay for a funeral. When a family approaches me for assistance, the question that continues to run through my mind is, "what would Francis do?"
I must ask myself how I welcome mourners and respond to their needs in a compassionate and financially responsible manner. Do I recognize the Christ in those with whom I work? How might we be financially responsible while maintaining dignity and service to these families?
I'm off to meet with a family soon. More later.
As a member of a Franciscan Religious Order, I am compelled to follow the example of St. Francis of Assisi, who focused his entire ministry on and with the poor. My primary focus is on those who are unable to pay the high costs of traditional funeral homes and are snubbed if they are dependent upon county funds to pay for a funeral. When a family approaches me for assistance, the question that continues to run through my mind is, "what would Francis do?"
I must ask myself how I welcome mourners and respond to their needs in a compassionate and financially responsible manner. Do I recognize the Christ in those with whom I work? How might we be financially responsible while maintaining dignity and service to these families?
I'm off to meet with a family soon. More later.
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