Preach the Gospel; Use Words if You Must

This morning, I officiated at the funeral of an 86 yr. old woman who had spent the last 14 years of her life in a long term care facility. As I drove to the funeral home, I began to think of just what I wanted to say in my homily. I had only visited this woman a few times before she was actively dying.

Suddenly, St. Francis' words came to my mind: "preach the gospel; use words if you must." I had an image of Janis (not her name) in either her wheelchair or her bed. She was unable to speak much and when she did her disease rendered the words garbled and not easily understood. Despite her inability to verbally communicate, Janis preached the gospel to all she met: She communicated with her eyes. There was a gentle calmness that I perceived as I looked into her eyes. I felt as if Janis accepted her need for help and the absolute necessity for patience with others who, like herself, could not articulate needs or thanks.

Here was a woman who struggled for each breath yet who relaxed when we prayed the rosary. One hand was set in a grasping position while the other gently grasped the hand of anyone sitting with her. Without words, there was an affirmation that sitting with a dying woman and holding her hand was a preaching of the gospel command to love one another. The longer I sat with Janis, the fewer words I uttered. Soon, we sat in silence; "tuned in" to God and one another.

There are some who ask me why I wear my Franciscan Habit in nursing facility. Contrary to what some believe, I wear it because it is a visual clue to those who do not easily comprehend spoken words, that I am a person who brings the Presence and Person of the Christ to them. Certainly this is not the only way this message is conveyed. I often greet residents on the memory units when they are in the day room. I go to each resident, speak to them, and give many hugs. Last week, I dropped into the dining room on one of these units, and the first resident I met hugged me and said, "Now, don't forget to go to everyone and give them a hug." She recognized the need that so many residents have for gentle, physical, caring, human contact.
This is the gospel at work in one of the most effective ways I have experienced it.

Grief, suicide and the poor

Can you imagine being a 29 yr. old male and a resident of a nursing facility? Add to your imagination, that person as gay and one who recently lost his life partner complications of AIDS. By the grace of God, Craig (not his real name) has been supported by his partner's family through these difficult several weeks. He was included in decision making regarding funeral planning, and his wish to have a small companion urn (containing a small amount of the cremains of his partner) was granted.

Craig has a history of depression. This past week, he received the companion urn and has had his partner's cremains at his bedside. He told staff members that he sat holding the urn to his heart and rocking back and forth as he poured out tears of loss, love, and grief.

Feeling unable to cope with his loss, Craig purposefully hiked up a dose of antidepressant medication with the intention of suicide, he became frightened and let staff members know of his actions and intentions. He was sent to the hospital and released later in the day.

Many in society today would respond to this story saying, "If he hurt so much why didn't he turn to his fag friends to hold his hand?" There are still so many places where lesbian and gay men cannot share what is in their hearts and souls and minds. "Safe" staff members knew what was going on with Craig, but they weren't always working. Because so many people didn't know how to respond, they left Craig alone or never mentioned his partner's death.

It seems to me that a large portion of human beings walk through life with blinders on; always looking directly ahead and trying to never meet the eyes of others. If we don't see, hear, or feel other's pain, depression, and confusion, we don't have to respond. If we can keep someone away by judging them unworthy of our attention, we use obstacles such as sexual orientation, race, political affiliation, socio-economic status and others, to alienate them.

Poverty is much more extensive than that which is experienced by those who lack adequate food and water, shelter, and income. Poverty is a part of loneliness, grief, loss, hopelessness. It often is the experiences of parishioners in our parishes, professionals, students, those struggling with decisions such as abortion, and many others who do not "wear the face of poverty" that we expect.

We live in such a disconnected world that we often simply don't take the time to look around us realizing that we are all children of God and called to care about and for one another. Thousands of people in Taiwan have lost their lives due to a typhoon. We acknowledge the loss, yet many of us barely give that loss of life another thought. The more we draw the shades and tighten the boundaries around us the more lacking is our spirituality. As Christians, we are called to embrace the other, to care about them, to comfort them, to do all that we can in a broken world.
If we can give only a passing prayer for thousands of people, how do we remember the individual prayers of the poor within our sight?

Preach the Gospel; use words if you must

Preaching the gospel by example is much more difficult than doing so by using words. This morning, I stopped at the long term care center in order to finalize my service format for tomorrow's worship. I am never able to go directly to my office. As I exit the elevator, I turn toward the day room which is often filled with residents.

This morning, there were 23 residents all sitting with absolutely no stimulus except CNN news! There were three CNA's at a back table with one resident and none of them were speaking to the resident. None of them made a move during the 20 minutes that I was in the day room, to speak or interact in any manner with the residents.

I know that many of these residents are non-verbal and others are extremely confused. On the other hand, they always respond when I go to each of them individually and speak to them. Several of the residents anger the others in that they do not speak but rather, simply vocalize in a shrieking voice and another by loudly singing out the melody of songs! I have learned that the first woman is able to speak, but needs to be reminded and have limits set. When I do this, we are able to have a conversation. This is not always an easy time, but I am generally able to have some conversation with her. Once again, the CNA's in the dayroom, looked at me as if I was crazy trying to interact with any of the residents let alone with one who would rather yell than speak.

"Preach the Gospel; use words if you must." Not all those who need a hug and some encouragement are in long term care. I have observed drivers swerve around an obviously intoxicated individual and make no attempt to move that person to safety. I have called 911 for a patrol vehicle to move an obviously intoxicated individual to safety only to be asked if that person is "an Indian." We have all been in crowds so dense that we are nearly piled one upon the other and no one speaks or acknowledges the other in any manner.

Francis understood what the disciples of Jesus couldn't grasp. They became confused with the words of the Teacher and they missed the impact of his actions. Many of us are still confused disciples of the Christ. If we can't say or write what we think, we are immobilized by anxiety and concern that we will not make an impact.

The poor will always be with us. You and I as disciples of Jesus Christ, have an obligation to become one with them, rather than engage in a "them" and "us" recognition of one another. Let's try to speak fewer words and to increase our outward and visible actions to others as we spread the Good News.

Poverty and those living in a Persistent Vegetative State

Two weeks ago, I met Jake (not a real name). He is a 30+ yr old man residing in a long term care facility and diagnosed as being in a persistent vegetative state. I first saw him in his room. The curtains were drawn (about 1 PM), there was no music or other sound in the room. Jake's eyes moved randomly and he allowed me to place my hand in his. He drooled constantly and made no obvious connection with his environment. I spoke to him and assured him that many of us care about him.

Last week, as I was about to begin a "chaplain's chat" group, Jake was brought into the day room. The CNA placed his wheelchair outside of our circle. I immediately moved Jake into the circle and placed him next to me. As I began the group, I took Jake's hand in mind and kept it there (as a means of connecting Jake to us) throughout the next 45 minutes. It was obvious that some of the residents were uncomfortable having Jake with us. Several shook their heads as if they could not believe that I would include Jake in anything, let along "their" group!

It is obvious that Jake makes many people uncomfortable. Because of that, staff respond to the majority who would rather keep him in his room and out of sight. Certainly, we don't know what Jake is experiencing: does he recognize people present near him or hear and understand voices?
Perhaps the need to keep Jake out of sight stems from the realization that anyone of us might be in a similar state at some time. We don't want to think of living without any realization or connection with others.

This approach to Jake certainly lacks a realization of connection of others with him. There is a poverty of spirit with no acknowledgement by many residents and staff that we are truly connected to and with Jake by virtue of our human experience. Jake is being denied the possibility of human interaction at the most basic level (simply being placed in the circle).

I'll admit that it isn't especially easy to speak to someone who shows absolutely no response or indication of connectedness. I don't remember Jesus or Francis having an expectation of response. I doubt that Jake would have been excluded from any one of the large crowds that followed Jesus. If someone had tried to exclude him, certainly Jesus would have used the occasion as a teaching moment.

I have made a commitment to Jake and that is to include him wherever I can and to add variety to his days by providing music of various types, group interactions, visitors, interaction with his family, and anything else that is an acknowledgement of his humanness. How, as a follower of the Christ and Francis can I do any less?